Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What You Can Learn From Amy Poehler, Sarah Palin and SNL

I know what you're thinking ... you're wondering how I can turn a hotly contested presidential election into a discourse about maternity fashion, aren't you? Hey, you're supposed to write what you know, and I know being pregnant! So might you, if you're reading this. As an actress, my biggest (sartorial) issue during most of my pregnancies was -- how do I hide this? If you think it's important for you to hide signs of pregnancy at your corporate job, imagine a job in which you're interviewing all the time for another position, and more than half of your job description has to do with how you look?

Sure, you say, but tell me again what this has to do with Sarah Palin and Amy Poehler? If you watched Saturday Night Live's last two sketches with the inimitable Tina Fey as Palin, you couldn't help but notice that her partner in crime was, well, greatly with child. And that she was playing women, Hillary Clinton and Katie Couric, who have not been pregnant in quite a while. While I certainly admire her ability to still stay awake for a late-night broadcast at this stage in her pregnancy, I'd like to offer a few suggestions for minimizing the bump.
  • Take a page from Governor Palin's book during her unannounced pregnancy with Trig -- all black on the inside (pants and tops) and structured, colourful jackets on top. And don't ever button the jacket -- use a non-maternity top and let its shape appear to be your shape, while the light is absorbed by the swath of absorbent black fabric on your belly.
  • Accessories, accessories, accessories. Put 'em up by your face and make 'em colourful.
  • Posture counts. For heaven's sake, if you lean forward, it looks like someone just heaved you a medicine ball.
  • Distraction -- think legs and cleavage. If we can see those (and by we, I mean men) we will be too dazzled by bare skin to notice that pot belly.
  • Keep your face on. Now is not the time to go barefaced, even if that's your usual look -- your skin is thinner and all sorts of funky lines and spots are making their appearances for the duration. And even if you carry your pregnancy weight primarily in the belly, some of up will creep into your face. Mascara and eyeliner will help counteract that.
  • Carry things -- Bristol Palin carried baby Trig, Elaine from Seinfeld always had a magazine or purse in front of her. By the way, this works wonders after baby's born, too, and is yet another plus for using a baby sling instead of a stroller. When I was seven months pregnant with my first baby, I filmed a love scene standing behind an actor. Of course, that didn't even make sense, physically, but he was the only thing big enough to cover my girth!
  • For more How To Dress During Pregnancy tips, check this out.

By the way, I really hope that these tips aren't used to hide your pregnancy from your prom date, parents or teachers in middle school. Everyone else, use away!

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