Monday, September 28, 2009

Take Your Babies Out To Dinner!

Are you the parents of a new or not-so-new baby? Are you craving a meal you didn't cook, or one that doesn't arrive in a cardboard box? Then get yourself out of the house and patronize your neighborhood bistro -- little one in tow. I know that lots of people say that children shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. And heaven forbid you feed your baby mothers milk while you eat. (Tip: take a sling so you can nurse and dine at the same time!)

Now, I know you have had this conversation with your friends or family or spouse, or all three, and you don't know what to do. I merrily traipsed around the world with our four and nursed them everywhere and left several establishments when a baby couldn't hold in their loud protestations. I'm not talking about taking a crying baby to Le Cirque on a Saturday night. But now that Bob and I are no longer the parents of people whose diapers require changing, I think I can finally speak from the other side of the fence.

We were in Mammoth, California this weekend (installing laminate floors in a condo while our girls watched about 12 hours of tv at a stretch) and went out to dinner on Saturday. We hit Gomez's around 7:30. There was a baby in the dining room who occasionally bleated out baby sounds, and while I noticed them (like I noticed a peal of laughter or clinking silverware) it was no big deal. Okay, the big deal was that a baby was making noises and for the first time in twelve years, it wasn't one of ours!! Also, my breasts didn't ache at the sounds of hunger. And there were lots of people and sounds in the room. Nobody cares -- really cares -- about the momentary vocalizations of your baby. So hit the road. Help a local restaurant out. And feel like a grown-up again. :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Pregnant With Twins -- What to Do?

If you found this blog because you want to carry your twins to term and birth them naturally, you've come to the right place. You probably saw us on Bringing Home Baby, or visited our store.

In any case, congrats! It feels like just yesterday that I saw two yolk saks on a routine confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound and FREAKED OUT!! Here are the first --and most important -- things I can share with you.

Run, don't walk, to our Amazon store and get Dr. Barbara Luke's twin book. She's the one who has correlated early weight gain with fuller term, higher birthweight babies. I'm 5'2" and 110, and everyone who knew I was having twins would say, they'll be early, or you'll be in NICU (neonatal intensive care) then. I was determined not to, especially because I had a 4 and 7 year old at the time. So if you hear nothing else from me, remember this -- gain 20 pounds by 20 weeks!!! That's pretty much how much I gained total in my singleton pregnancies (around 25) and it was really hard work to eat that much, because I'm on a gluten-free diet. But I did it (why? Because near the end of your pregnancy, you will be full after two bites of salad -- babies are taking up all the room). My girls were born -- drug-free -- 3 hours shy of their 39th week, at 6 pounds 2 and 6 pounds 5 (my singletons were 6.14 and 6.9, so I don't make babies much bigger than that). They nursed immediately and went home in 2 days.

You can do it. I was in class with Gurumukh on Saturday and they were born on Monday. I joined the Y and swam every day, not because I'm a swimmer (so not) but to relieve the pain of carrying all that weight. It was glorious to be in the water.

You gotta start now!!! :) Enjoy. Be strong. You're going to have an amazing time -- it's a real privilege to carry any baby, but two is extra miraculous!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Big Girls Don't Cry

Suffice it to say that becoming a mother means, theoretically, that you are now a grownup. (Yes, even if you're chronologically challenged -- you're about to be responsible for another human being, so whether you're 16 or 36, this is where the rubber meets the road.) I've literally helped hundreds of moms and moms to be online and in my store who are completely flummoxed by the changes in their bodies.

That's because, no matter how many pregnancy books you've read or Baby Story episodes you've seen, you won't know how pregnancy will look on you until your body is well into its explosion of blood volume, weight and hormones. (Sounds so sexy, doesn't it?) And while we all want to think that we'll just have our regular bodies, but with a cute basketball tummy attached, the truth is that our other body parts will want to be at the pregnancy party as well. As my dear sister said to me when I was thinking I was all belly around 7 months along with my first, "oh, no, sweetie. I'm behind you, and your ass is definitely pregnant as well!"

So I can imagine your surprise and shock when you discovered that the part of you that really got into your pregnancy (or your nursing) was your boobs. We've been motoring along in our childless lives, thinking that a DD cup was really well endowed. Nursing mamas know that the alphabet's the limit when it comes to bountiful breasts! While we have to accept all these changes gracefully as a small price to pay for our wonderful kids, I have seen women reduced to tears when they find out their new bra size is an F cup or larger. They really weep when they see what the available options are for purchase (One Hot Mama hasn't sold these options before due to their complete lameness, stylewise.)
So rejoice, girls! Bravado has a hot new item called the Sublime Nursing Bra. It's perfect for large-breasted mamas, and we're making sure you feel even more special by only stocking it in F to I cup sizes. What's even better, it comes in band sizes 32 to 38 and there are adorable matching knickers (panties to Americans).
Just be careful that feeling all sexy and pretty again doesn't lead to, well, you know, more of the above.
From The Woman With Four Children ;)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Never Forget

Today, we remember the 2,996 souls who perished on 9/11. In addition to those innocents, remember the survivors, many of whom were babies and children when their parents were killed. We always think of one member of the One Hot Mama community whose husband died in the World Trade Center and who, though grieving, had to nurse and raise her infant. Wherever you are, and to all those with friends and family who are no longer here, we wish you godspeed, and we hope a small measure of peace.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

One More Day

Tomorrow the twins start preschool and then I start the long slow climb back to regular-person productivity. Meanwhile, I pray the Lord will forgive me for all the whining I did about how hard life was with one -- only ONE -- baby to nurse and change and nap with!!!!!

(But remember mamas, nothing's harder than that first baby. If only we could work out all the kinks on a starter baby you could give back to your sister, say!) :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Once Kids Are In School I Can Blog Again -- Until Then, A Few Random Thoughts

Two down, 2 more to go. After Labor Day I will once again have this blog putting along, but having all four kids at home all summer has tapped my reserves of creativity, will and free time. To make you laugh, here's a sampler from an email making the rounds (that I am sure was written by a guy, so you can share with your hubby):

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old:

  • I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  • More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
    think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
    my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
    realize you're wrong.
  • I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
    have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
    sticks when they've invented the lighter?
  • Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
    going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
    be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
    direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
    check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
    yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
    crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
  • Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
    feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
  • Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
    work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
    fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
    know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
    or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
  • There is a great need for sarcasm font.
  • Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
    suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
  • I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
    becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
    90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
    laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
    bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
    only one who really, really gets it.
  • How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  • I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
    take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  • I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
    your computer history if you die.
  • The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
    finish a text.
  • A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
    spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
  • LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  • Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
    test is absolutely petrifying.
  • Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
    all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
  • How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
    and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
  • I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
    to prevent some jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
  • Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
    examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
    idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
    said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
  • What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
  • While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
    instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  • MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
    know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
    shower first and THEN turn on the water.
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
    and you can wear them forever.
  • I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories
  • Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
  • Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
  • If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
  • Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
    around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
    nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
    a problem....
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
    when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
    productive for the rest of the day.
  • Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
    want to have to restart my collection.
  • There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
    going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  • I'm always slightly terrified when I exit Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • "Do not machine wash or
    tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
  • I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
    watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
    they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
    watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
    leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
    Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
    goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
    and run away?
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
    seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  • When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
    hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
    internet stalking.
  • I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
  • Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
    speed for pedophiles...
  • As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
    but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  • Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
    not know what time it is.
  • It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
  • I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
    answer when they call.
  • Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  • Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
    keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
    Donkey - but I'd bet money, everyone can find and push the Snooze
    button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes
    closed, first time...every time...
  • My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
    happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?
  • It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on and
    the link takes me to a video instead of text.
  • I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they
    drive behind obeys the speed limit.
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  • I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
    Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.