One Hot Mama is Growing Up!!

My actual, human first baby turned 18 last week, and today, we launched our new One Hot Mama store at www.onehotmama.com -- it's hard to believe that what every "old" person who saw me with my baby was right. The years do go by quickly! It's the days that can be long. Shop, visit, enjoy and remember, you are One Hot Mama.

One Hot Mama Gives Fashion Advice.

An oldie (from when I only had one baby) but a goodie. Especially since it's only gotten nominally easier to get myself together after getting the kids to school.

From: "K"

I love your site! I have to tell you though that sometimes I feel like a pretender. I was a hot single woman, and even a hot pregnant one, but things have changed. Yes, after two kids, I've got a serious case of the frumpies. My long hair is too thick to wear up. I'm extremely chesty, yet I have narrow shoulders, so I end up looking like I'm wearing a tent. I've been eyeing your super-secret nursing shirt, but sorry a size 14 is not an XL! There are some good tips on your site (show off legs, get a uniform), but those tips are like a check-up. I need intensive care!

---

Dear K:

The ambulance is here, honey. But first, a little background music. As I first read your letter, I sat at the computer in my uniform of pilled-fabric sweats, worn with the waist below my expanding not-quite-big-enough-to-be-really-showing tummy and fuzzy-haired ponytail. I filed it away to answer when inspired. Later, I got a call telling me about a big audition for some network muckety-muck the next day. Since that's the whole point of living in Lost Angeles, I had to go to the mirror and take stock. The sweats and grubby socks were bad enough, but my eyebrows were beyond thick, my fingernails were many different lengths, and the nailpolish that I had applied for my birthday (in November) was no longer making my toes look so sexy. Add in the legs that are shaven one quadrant at a time (as Cameron stands in the shower door, crying, "mommy, mommy!") and you can see that I, too, was not a pretty picture. Why am I grossing y'all out in this way? To let you know that I am the same person who the next day walked out of here with clean, pretty hair, a nice outfit that covered the partially-shaved legs (just didn't have time to do the whole nine yards, y'know?), and freshly waxed eyebrows. I looked hot. I still had it, and so do you, but it really does take a fire drill or a cattle prod or a call from the old agent to work up the inspiration to do the legwork (no pun intended) sometimes.

Of course, the longer you leave the car without an oil change, the greater the chance that the engine will need overhauling, so even though we are all the world's greatest mommies and daddies (insert pat on the back here), let's use this email, or the first and fifteenth of every month, or whatever else you can remember, as a reminder to do some preventive maintenance. We know that self-worth doesn't come in a makeup bottle (or any other kind, for that matter), but a little swipe of mascara or lipgloss can make you feel, well, shiny. And shiny ain't such a bad way to feel, especially with spring around the corner.

So here's how to do a whole-look makeover for under 50 bucks! Ready, "K"? and whoever else is interested?

1. While picking up wipes, fresh fruit and ice cream (a girl's gotta live) at the grocery, get the latest copies of In Style and Mode. We know that since you're pregnant or nursing you're not in the market for the actual clothes in there, but get them to find out what's what. Get inspired by the colours and photos (this is why Mode is crucial ... their models' bodies plus the In Style bodies are a real mix rather than a downer) and look at how different hair and makeup look from the last time you perused a non-parenting magazine. (Under $10.)
2. While at the mall feeding the kiddies their nutritious food court dinners, eye the other chicks with an appraisers eye. Since your big dilemma is hair, "K," make sure to check theirs out. Whenever you see someone with (A) a look you like and/or (B) hair remotely like yours, ask for the name of her stylist. Don't worry about being able to afford anything right now. Just jot that name down in your filofax, and be sure to get the name of the person giving the recommendation. Call the salon and see if the stylist does consults. If not, find one who does and go for a wash and dry. Tell them that you want to look hot without taking a lot of time to do your hair. This last part is crucial, I'm guessing, because if you had time to do your hair you'd be doing it. Do not let anyone cut your hair until you're sure that they're right for you. A tip from my friend Tracey: she discovered a great stylist at The Yellow Balloon, a kiddie haircutters here in LA. They've already got toys and stuff there, so they're not as snotty as other salons can be about having your kidlets with you. (Consult: free to $30)
3. Find someone who does eyebrow waxing in your neck of the woods. (Make sure that their brows aren't missing, though!) A pro can make your face look better, shape your brows so they frame your eyes even without makeup, and all in 10 minutes. That's a mom's dream. (Under $14)
4. Go through your closet and take out the four items you wear daily (Bob and I, in fact, I'd hazard to guess, all humans, kinda reach for the same-old, same-old), then look at the rest with that critical eye. Let your babies play in the discards. Don't think you have to do any of this alone, by the way. I bet your dear hubby could also use a little making over, and maybe he'd be flattered if you suggested he toss the things that don't "play up his eyes." Or not. But anyway, there are probably things in your closet that you don't wear because they're not in front. Or, if you're in LA or NY, because they're not black. But look for the colours that make you look like you're glowing, and move those to the front. The stuff that doesn't fit? Alter it or give it away. It's time to move on. And don't obsess about the labels. Order a Super Secret Nursing Shirt in 2X if that's what fits (okay, that's a shameless plug) and then cut out the label (or just the X part!). Secret from my years on sets: the stuff that actors wear, whether from Contempo or Calvin Klein, is altered to fit. So if you're chesty and narrow in the shoulders, buy to fit your chest and then fix the rest. You don't sew? Find a local tailor and become his/her best friend. (Closet workout: free. Alterations vary)
5. Dance! Turn on the radio or put on a fave cd or 8-track if you have one and "shake your booty" -- as Cameron says -- with your kids every day. With a light layer of sweat and the blood rushing through your veins, you won't feel frumpy at all. The more you move, the better you'll feel. And if you feel good, you'll look mah-vel-ous. (Again, free!)
6. This will all make you feel like having some quality sex. Surprise your dh and go on the attack (of course, pick a day when you're not totally exhausted. For me, this will be Jan 4, 2016, but I have to push the schedule up a bit every now and then.) Grateful hubbies might actually start to compliment you, and the more you get those little pick-me-ups, the likelier you are to run a brush through your hair. Sure, not every day. You're a mom. But you're not dead.
   
   Have a great day, you great-looking mama you!

Where The Heck Has One Hot Mama Been?

Good question. Reminds me of one of my fave childrearing quotes: "the years are short, but the days are long." Somehow, five months have whipped by and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I do, though. All four kids are in school -- for the first time in THIRTEEN years, I could, theoretically, have a shower in the morning. :) I took the summer off from One Hot Mama to be with the kids, shepherding them from place to place and having Mommy Craft Days, partly because camp for that many kids is prohibitively expensive, and partly because it was really fun!

Then school started. And I was under the mistaken impression that I would have hours to myself to work, hang with my husband, write the next Great American Pilot (hey, I live in LA -- we don't do novels!) and even work out. Hasn't really happened. That first six weeks of school was a huge adjustment for everyone. And I'm in my car more than I ever thought possible.

You know that Vicki Iovine book about getting your groove back? It takes longer than you think.

The birth of fashionable maternity wear

The birth of fashionable maternity wear - latimes.com

I love articles like this! They come out every couple years and declare that, "Whoa, maternity wear is pretty darned cute! Who knew?"

Well, I did. I spent from 1996 to 2008 pregnant and/or nursing, and the choices even at the end of the century were far improved from what predated them. And now -- let's just say I have to make a conscious choice to not fill my personal closet with hot maternity wear from our store, One Hot Mama!

But my fave fashionista gripe is that the profile is filled with $200+ dresses and $150+ separates, when the economy right now (and more generally, for everyone contemplating the temporary or permanent loss of income that pregnancy and children necessitates) suggests that more moderate budgets should get a look as well. Of course, every fashion mag does it, but I can't be the only person in America who balks at $165 for jeans. For my bump.

So, kudos to LA Times writer Emili Vesilind for reminding everyone of the quelle adorable togs out there for mamas to be! And here are my alternatives, all available right in Los Angeles' own Studio City or 24/7 online:

Maternity Dresses:


We have several, and more are on the way, including this Olian hit from last summer that clocks in at around $130. In black, natch!

As for Hip, Sleek Maternity Jeans, keep an eye out for well-priced versions coming throughout the summer, but my faves right now are these from Japanese Weekend, at $92 on our higher end.



As for maternity tops, one of my fave Tips For The Newly Pregnant is to get stuff that does double duty! Why buy maternity clothes and nursing clothes separately? Get more bang for your buck! A lot of our One Hot Mama tops work overtime and look good, like this nursing tank from Bravado. Wear it for nine months up, and nine months down while giving yourself support and coverage for your working girls (and you thought boobs were only for selling bras and cars!) Silly girl!

Last, but not least, a point about cheap clothes. I love a deal as much (or more) as the next girl, but I have to say, especially if you're pregnant with your first, you need to think long term. Your maternity clothes will work harder than any others in your wardrobe. Think about your jeans. If you're like the average woman, you own eight pairs of jeans. But for four or five months of your life this year, you'll own one or two. That you will wear and wash repeatedly. That's a lot of abuse. So while it's great that Target has maternity stuff, you have to think some of it as disposable in quality. Four kids down the road, you'll be glad you got the Japanese Weekend jeans!

The Best Advice You Got While Pregnant

This article got me thinking about how many of us mothers of Big Kids have forgotten what it was like to be in the early blush of our first pregnancy. Forgetfullness leads us to ask asinine questions like, "Is she sleeping through the night?" or make useless comments like, "I don't remember ever feeling nauseous."

I really think that such tactlessness isn't a result of meanness; we really don't remember. After all, if all the indignities of first-time pregnancy, birth and motherhood were vividly emblazoned in your memory bank for ever, no-one would ever have a second child. And here I am, with four.

Thus, hardly any brain cells remain. My little sister is pregnant, and due around my birthday, in November. Some of my advice is timeless, like, "Don't read the What to Expect books if you're the slightest bit of a worrywart; they won't help!" But it's been a looooong time (5 years) since my last pregnancy. And though I had a full decade (!) of constant gestation/lactation/gestation, I feel like I should open up the floor to you more recent preggos.

What was the best advice you got for your pregnancy? The most helpful? The least? Tell Alexis what I've forgotten by posting a comment. And thanks!

Are We Your Favourite Online Maternity Boutique?

It's time for the Annual Readers Choice Awards -- brought to you by Pregnancy & Newborn magazine.

This time, voting for us is easier than ever. No membership needed, but you do have to use your name and email address so you can be entered in a drawing to win cool gear. The only quirk is that you have to vote in each category, and you may only care about voting for, say, best online maternity boutique! Need help in some categories? Ask an opinionated friend. Since I'm that person, here are a couple faves of mine. :)

There are about 2 dozen categories, and ours is the penultimate, by the way -- don't leave before you vote for One Hot Mama as best online maternity boutique!

Categories I have strong opinions about are:
• Jogging Stroller -- BOB!!! (not just because it's my hubby's name -- they rock!)
• Diaper Bag -- Kalencom (adorable and reasonably priced)
• Baby carrier – how could they not have written in Balboa Baby? You can fix that
• Baby Shoes -- I love Robeez
• Bottles – the one that helps, not hurts, nursing is Avent
• Breast Pump -- Avent is the best
• Fave Nursing Accessory – A tie between Glamourmom tanks and My Brest Friend pillow
• Maternity Fashion Brand – I have equal love for Ingrid & Isabel and Olian!
• Nursery Furniture – the Arm’s Reach co-sleeper rocks (well, not literally)
• Online Maternity Shop -- hint, hint, here’s where One Hot Mama comes in!

The polls are open until May 31st, but just like they used to say in a city I don’t want to disparage in print – vote early and often. We could both win something!

Win a $250 One Hot Mama Gift Certificate!

AND a wardrobe consultation with moi, your fave maternity style guru. Your bid goes to a great cause -- educating my kids! :) Well, not mine specifically, but it is for my children's school. The good news is that, since it's a K-12, there aren't too many preggo mamas floating around, so you should be able to score this prize at a decent discount. Bid here. You have until the end of the weekend, methinks, so get cracking!

You should be in the LA area to take advantage of the entire personal consultation thing, but I am happy to help over the phone as well.

You Go, Girl!

I know, that phrase is so RuPaul, but I just ran over to California Pizza Kitchen for a glass of water (we eat there all the time; our store is right next door) and there was a mama holding her around-six-month-old baby at a table. Totally unremarkable. I've done it many times. What I haven't done, however, was to go out for lunch with a friend and a baby with a fabulously large necklace and sequined sandals. When I say large, I mean the thing had crystals that belonged on a chandelier. She was a big girl, so she could totally pull it off. But what stopped me in my tracks was that I, the proponent of the Hot Mama creed, had always sworn off necklaces whenever grabby hands were near. That meant an almost decade-long costume jewelry drought.

Whoever you are, mama, way to go! :)

Where In The World?

Computer problems + Moving our house + Spring Break/Torn Ligament in hand = Almost No Blogging

To make up for it (and because I still have the use of only one hand) here's an oldie but goodie:

Birth ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month..

______________________________________________________

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

______________________________________________________

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in..

______________________________________________________

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

_______________________________________________________

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

______________________________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

______________________________________________________

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children

______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!


Smile -- you deserve a laugh a day, mama!

Baby Slings Again

Here's a guide to wearing your baby in a sling the right way:

CPSC Warning on Baby Slings

After a millenia or so of babywearing, 7 deaths have prompted the Consumer Products Safety Commission to issue a report warning about the use of baby slings and wraps. I gotta say, while every single baby's life is precious and should be mourned, I am not sure that freaking people out about using them is really helpful. (Remember that strollers have their own documented dangers.)

Better that we should help people learn the right way to use them. To that end, NBC4 in Los Angeles interviewed One Hot Mama this afternoon and we hope you'll all tune in to see Roxanne's thoughts about babywearing. Of course, I spoke for an hour and the segment will be all of 2 minutes, but that's showbiz! For more info on baby slings and how awesome they are, read this!

For more instructions about Balboa Baby Slings, which we carry, see here.
For answers to all the sling questions you could ever have, try here.

Bravado Bras And Tanks And Being An Old Mother

A huge shipment of Bravado nursing bras and Essential Nursing Tanks arrived at One Hot Mama last night ... they'll be available for order in a few hours. Why not right away? Because our first baby, a little 6 pound, 9 ounce titch of a thing who looked for all the world like a plucked chicken when he was born, played for his school in the finals of the 6th grade basketball championship last night -- and won! He had the game of his young life, and it's hard to describe the thrill of seeing the baby I wore in a sling for three straight years (more solid black and brown Balboa Baby slings are on the way as well; right now we have lots of colours) run back and forth for an hour.

Sometimes it seems unreal that babies turn into people. But they do. Enjoy every minute that they smell so fresh and delicious -- because, after a hard game, not so much! :)

Anyway, the entire beginning of 2010 has been filled with games and lots of other family hijinks. Visit my still-relevant pregnancy and nursing posts from before the season began and I promise to catch up soon.

Glamourmom & Balboa Baby

They're back in stock -- the best adjustable slings and the original nursing bra tanks. We have plenty of both at One Hot Mama! I would say that both items are must-have for any new mother, the ranks of which I no longer join. That's so odd to me, having spend the better part of the last decade wearing a Glamourmom Long Tank and carrying my nursling (or two) in a sling, inspired by Dr. William Sears and his wife Martha. :) Those of you who are mamas of babies, though, stock up!

Family First

Wow. A month since I've posted any bon mots about motherhood, attachment parenting, breastfeeding or clothes!

The truth is that Christmas with four kids takes a lot of work. We actually went on vacation this year, and had a lovely time, and then I was so cocooned that I decided to actually enjoy my kids instead of write about them for a bit. We've had a rather exciting January, with family crises and moving and surgeries, oh my! Sometimes, you just need to take a break and hang.

Remember that when you feel life is going by you too fast -- just stop and get off the merry go round for a turn.

Be back soon. :)

Moody Mamas & Fierce Mamas Trunk Show

Get ready for the New Year by stocking up on really hip, adorable maternity and nursing clothes from Moody Mamas and Fierce Mamas by Christian Siriano -- we'll have the One Hot Mama store stocked with their fabulous designer dresses, tops and more Friday, December 18th through Wednesday, December 23rd. Hurry in! (Remember that you can make an appointment for private shopping in the morning or evening by emailing rox@onehotmama.com or texting me at 213-500-4560)

Fun Fun Fun

We're feeling Christmassy, so our sale is still on at One Hot Mama -- hot maternity and nursing clothes (those are for easy breastfeeding, dear), slings, bras, even Spanx are all 20% off when you buy at least $100 worth of gorgeous stuff. And coming next week, in store only, a Moody Mamas trunk show (yes, the sale will apply). Not samples, not seconds, not last season's castoffs. Write me for details!

Blacktaking Said It First

And better -- here's her post on a horrific story that is being headlined to scare mums away from nursing. Like they needed more encouragement to not do what comes naturally!

Last Day of our Sale!

Yes, I took a little holiday. Had myself a birthday and then Thanksgiving. Ahh. To celebrate, we are giving One Hot Mama shoppers 20% off purchases over 100 bucks. Cool. Stock up on your Bravados, Belly Bandits, Balboa Baby Slings, nursing bras, nightgowns -- and get something sexy for yourself as well! Where? Oh, yeah -- http://www.onehotmama.com!

Kourtney Kardashian & The Belly Bandit

Two very important things to say, here.



1. Have you seen the latest Life & Style magazine (you know you gobble all those glossies up, even if it's only in the checkout line or a doctor's waiting room!). We had to share this page with you:



Why are we so excited about a celebrity pregnancy? Because of the fab custom Belly Bandit she designed with the Banditas. Wherever can you buy this cool, corset-looking postpartum belly wrap that's all the rage? Why, here at One Hot Mama, of course!


2. That said, maybe all new moms need to read this and this as well, and remember that it's 9 months up, and 9 months down. Rock the Bandit, but remember to enjoy your baby and your new shape as well!


(Since the Belly Bandit is one of the few products that I didn't personally use immediately postpartum -- they invented it when my babies were 3 -- here's a review from someone who did.)

What Your Baby Really Wants

Just to be with you. Really. Seriouslly. When I gave birth for the first time, I really wished that what my baby wanted was to be with the nanny who hovered over us. But, though she was a lovely soul, he wanted to hear the same heartbeat he'd been nestled underneath for 37 weeks. What made me think of this was a lovely new mother I saw the other day whose baby was in a bucket (okay, it was a carseat/infant carrier, but it's really a plastic bucket) the entire time we were together. That, in and of itself, not so bad, and if baby's asleep, I don't care if he went nighty-night in a Home Depot orange janitor's bucket, he's staying put! But this poor newborn was awake, and the grandmother was compulsively rocking the car seat back and forth on the floor with such vigor I was worried she'd launch the little girlie right into the air.

What most babies do best with is quiet, gentle movement. All that jiggling and rocking is tiresome for both of you!