One Hot Mama

One Hot Mama Gives Fashion Advice.

2011-10-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

An oldie (from when I only had one baby) but a goodie. Especially since it's only gotten nominally easier to get myself together after getting the kids to school.

From: "K"

I love your site! I have to tell you though that sometimes I feel like a pretender. I was a hot single woman, and even a hot pregnant one, but things have changed. Yes, after two kids, I've got a serious case of the frumpies. My long hair is too thick to wear up. I'm extremely chesty, yet I have narrow shoulders, so I end up looking like I'm wearing a tent. I've been eyeing your super-secret nursing shirt, but sorry a size 14 is not an XL! There are some good tips on your site (show off legs, get a uniform), but those tips are like a check-up. I need intensive care!

Dear K:

The ambulance is here, honey. But first, a little background music. As I first read your letter, I sat at the computer in my uniform of pilled-fabric sweats, worn with the waist below my expanding not-quite-big-enough-to-be-really-showing tummy and fuzzy-haired ponytail. I filed it away to answer when inspired. Later, I got a call telling me about a big audition for some network muckety-muck the next day. Since that's the whole point of living in Lost Angeles, I had to go to the mirror and take stock. The sweats and grubby socks were bad enough, but my eyebrows were beyond thick, my fingernails were many different lengths, and the nailpolish that I had applied for my birthday (in November) was no longer making my toes look so sexy. Add in the legs that are shaven one quadrant at a time (as Cameron stands in the shower door, crying, "mommy, mommy!") and you can see that I, too, was not a pretty picture. Why am I grossing y'all out in this way? To let you know that I am the same person who the next day walked out of here with clean, pretty hair, a nice outfit that covered the partially-shaved legs (just didn't have time to do the whole nine yards, y'know?), and freshly waxed eyebrows. I looked hot. I still had it, and so do you, but it really does take a fire drill or a cattle prod or a call from the old agent to work up the inspiration to do the legwork (no pun intended) sometimes.

Of course, the longer you leave the car without an oil change, the greater the chance that the engine will need overhauling, so even though we are all the world's greatest mommies and daddies (insert pat on the back here), let's use this email, or the first and fifteenth of every month, or whatever else you can remember, as a reminder to do some preventive maintenance. We know that self-worth doesn't come in a makeup bottle (or any other kind, for that matter), but a little swipe of mascara or lipgloss can make you feel, well, shiny. And shiny ain't such a bad way to feel, especially with spring around the corner.

So here's how to do a whole-look makeover for under 50 bucks! Ready, "K"? and whoever else is interested?

While picking up wipes, fresh fruit and ice cream (a girl's gotta live) at the grocery, get the latest copies of In Style and Mode. We know that since you're pregnant or nursing you're not in the market for the actual clothes in there, but get them to find out what's what. Get inspired by the colours and photos (this is why Mode is crucial ... their models' bodies plus the In Style bodies are a real mix rather than a downer) and look at how different hair and makeup look from the last time you perused a non-parenting magazine. (Under $10.)
While at the mall feeding the kiddies their nutritious food court dinners, eye the other chicks with an appraisers eye. Since your big dilemma is hair, "K," make sure to check theirs out. Whenever you see someone with (A) a look you like and/or (B) hair remotely like yours, ask for the name of her stylist. Don't worry about being able to afford anything right now. Just jot that name down in your filofax, and be sure to get the name of the person giving the recommendation. Call the salon and see if the stylist does consults. If not, find one who does and go for a wash and dry. Tell them that you want to look hot without taking a lot of time to do your hair. This last part is crucial, I'm guessing, because if you had time to do your hair you'd be doing it. Do not let anyone cut your hair until you're sure that they're right for you. A tip from my friend Tracey: she discovered a great stylist at The Yellow Balloon, a kiddie haircutters here in LA. They've already got toys and stuff there, so they're not as snotty as other salons can be about having your kidlets with you. (Consult: free to $30)
Find someone who does eyebrow waxing in your neck of the woods. (Make sure that their brows aren't missing, though!) A pro can make your face look better, shape your brows so they frame your eyes even without makeup, and all in 10 minutes. That's a mom's dream. (Under $14)
Go through your closet and take out the four items you wear daily (Bob and I, in fact, I'd hazard to guess, all humans, kinda reach for the same-old, same-old), then look at the rest with that critical eye. Let your babies play in the discards. Don't think you have to do any of this alone, by the way. I bet your dear hubby could also use a little making over, and maybe he'd be flattered if you suggested he toss the things that don't "play up his eyes." Or not. But anyway, there are probably things in your closet that you don't wear because they're not in front. Or, if you're in LA or NY, because they're not black. But look for the colours that make you look like you're glowing, and move those to the front. The stuff that doesn't fit? Alter it or give it away. It's time to move on. And don't obsess about the labels. Order a Super Secret Nursing Shirt in 2X if that's what fits (okay, that's a shameless plug) and then cut out the label (or just the X part!). Secret from my years on sets: the stuff that actors wear, whether from Contempo or Calvin Klein, is altered to fit. So if you're chesty and narrow in the shoulders, buy to fit your chest and then fix the rest. You don't sew? Find a local tailor and become his/her best friend. (Closet workout: free. Alterations vary)
Dance! Turn on the radio or put on a fave cd or 8-track if you have one and "shake your booty" -- as Cameron says -- with your kids every day. With a light layer of sweat and the blood rushing through your veins, you won't feel frumpy at all. The more you move, the better you'll feel. And if you feel good, you'll look mah-vel-ous. (Again, free!)
This will all make you feel like having some quality sex. Surprise your dh and go on the attack (of course, pick a day when you're not totally exhausted. For me, this will be Jan 4, 2016, but I have to push the schedule up a bit every now and then.) Grateful hubbies might actually start to compliment you, and the more you get those little pick-me-ups, the likelier you are to run a brush through your hair. Sure, not every day. You're a mom. But you're not dead.

Have a great day, you great-looking mama you!

Where The Heck Has One Hot Mama Been?

2010-10-21T12:31:00.000-07:00

Good question. Reminds me of one of my fave childrearing quotes: "the years are short, but the days are long." Somehow, five months have whipped by and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. I do, though. All four kids are in school -- for the first time in THIRTEEN years, I could, theoretically, have a shower in the morning. :) I took the summer off from One Hot Mama to be with the kids, shepherding them from place to place and having Mommy Craft Days, partly because camp for that many kids is prohibitively expensive, and partly because it was really fun!

Then school started. And I was under the mistaken impression that I would have hours to myself to work, hang with my husband, write the next Great American Pilot (hey, I live in LA -- we don't do novels!) and even work out. Hasn't really happened. That first six weeks of school was a huge adjustment for everyone. And I'm in my car more than I ever thought possible.

You know that Vicki Iovine book about getting your groove back? It takes longer than you think.

The birth of fashionable maternity wear

2010-05-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

The birth of fashionable maternity wear - latimes.com

I love articles like this! They come out every couple years and declare that, "Whoa, maternity wear is pretty darned cute! Who knew?"

Well, I did. I spent from 1996 to 2008 pregnant and/or nursing, and the choices even at the end of the century were far improved from what predated them. And now -- let's just say I have to make a conscious choice to not fill my personal closet with hot maternity wear from our store, One Hot Mama!

But my fave fashionista gripe is that the profile is filled with $200+ dresses and $150+ separates, when the economy right now (and more generally, for everyone contemplating the temporary or permanent loss of income that pregnancy and children necessitates) suggests that more moderate budgets should get a look as well. Of course, every fashion mag does it, but I can't be the only person in America who balks at $165 for jeans. For my bump.

So, kudos to LA Times writer Emili Vesilind for reminding everyone of the quelle adorable togs out there for mamas to be! And here are my alternatives, all available right in Los Angeles' own Studio City or 24/7 online:

Maternity Dresses:

We have several, and more are on the way, including this Olian hit from last summer that clocks in at around $130. In black, natch!

As for Hip, Sleek Maternity Jeans, keep an eye out for well-priced versions coming throughout the summer, but my faves right now are these from Japanese Weekend, at $92 on our higher end.

As for maternity tops, one of my fave Tips For The Newly Pregnant is to get stuff that does double duty! Why buy maternity clothes and nursing clothes separately? Get more bang for your buck! A lot of our One Hot Mama tops work overtime and look good, like this nursing tank from Bravado. Wear it for nine months up, and nine months down while giving yourself support and coverage for your working girls (and you thought boobs were only for selling bras and cars!) Silly girl!

Last, but not least, a point about cheap clothes. I love a deal as much (or more) as the next girl, but I have to say, especially if you're pregnant with your first, you need to think long term. Your maternity clothes will work harder than any others in your wardrobe. Think about your jeans. If you're like the average woman, you own eight pairs of jeans. But for four or five months of your life this year, you'll own one or two. That you will wear and wash repeatedly. That's a lot of abuse. So while it's great that Target has maternity stuff, you have to think some of it as disposable in quality. Four kids down the road, you'll be glad you got the Japanese Weekend jeans!

The Best Advice You Got While Pregnant

2010-05-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

This article got me thinking about how many of us mothers of Big Kids have forgotten what it was like to be in the early blush of our first pregnancy. Forgetfullness leads us to ask asinine questions like, "Is she sleeping through the night?" or make useless comments like, "I don't remember ever feeling nauseous."

I really think that such tactlessness isn't a result of meanness; we really don't remember. After all, if all the indignities of first-time pregnancy, birth and motherhood were vividly emblazoned in your memory bank for ever, no-one would ever have a second child. And here I am, with four.

Thus, hardly any brain cells remain. My little sister is pregnant, and due around my birthday, in November. Some of my advice is timeless, like, "Don't read the What to Expect books if you're the slightest bit of a worrywart; they won't help!" But it's been a looooong time (5 years) since my last pregnancy. And though I had a full decade (!) of constant gestation/lactation/gestation, I feel like I should open up the floor to you more recent preggos.

What was the best advice you got for your pregnancy? The most helpful? The least? Tell Alexis what I've forgotten by posting a comment. And thanks!

Are We Your Favourite Online Maternity Boutique?

2010-05-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

It's time for the Annual Readers Choice Awards -- brought to you by Pregnancy & Newborn magazine.

This time, voting for us is easier than ever. No membership needed, but you do have to use your name and email address so you can be entered in a drawing to win cool gear. The only quirk is that you have to vote in each category, and you may only care about voting for, say, best online maternity boutique! Need help in some categories? Ask an opinionated friend. Since I'm that person, here are a couple faves of mine. :)

There are about 2 dozen categories, and ours is the penultimate, by the way -- don't leave before you vote for One Hot Mama as best online maternity boutique!

Categories I have strong opinions about are:
• Jogging Stroller -- BOB!!! (not just because it's my hubby's name -- they rock!)
• Diaper Bag -- Kalencom (adorable and reasonably priced)
• Baby carrier – how could they not have written in Balboa Baby? You can fix that
• Baby Shoes -- I love Robeez
• Bottles – the one that helps, not hurts, nursing is Avent
• Breast Pump -- Avent is the best
• Fave Nursing Accessory – A tie between Glamourmom tanks and My Brest Friend pillow
• Maternity Fashion Brand – I have equal love for Ingrid & Isabel and Olian!
• Nursery Furniture – the Arm’s Reach co-sleeper rocks (well, not literally)
• Online Maternity Shop -- hint, hint, here’s where One Hot Mama comes in!

The polls are open until May 31st, but just like they used to say in a city I don’t want to disparage in print – vote early and often. We could both win something!

Win a $250 One Hot Mama Gift Certificate!

2010-05-14T17:09:00.000-07:00

AND a wardrobe consultation with moi, your fave maternity style guru. Your bid goes to a great cause -- educating my kids! :) Well, not mine specifically, but it is for my children's school. The good news is that, since it's a K-12, there aren't too many preggo mamas floating around, so you should be able to score this prize at a decent discount. Bid here. You have until the end of the weekend, methinks, so get cracking!

You should be in the LA area to take advantage of the entire personal consultation thing, but I am happy to help over the phone as well.

You Go, Girl!

2010-04-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

I know, that phrase is so RuPaul, but I just ran over to California Pizza Kitchen for a glass of water (we eat there all the time; our store is right next door) and there was a mama holding her around-six-month-old baby at a table. Totally unremarkable. I've done it many times. What I haven't done, however, was to go out for lunch with a friend and a baby with a fabulously large necklace and sequined sandals. When I say large, I mean the thing had crystals that belonged on a chandelier. She was a big girl, so she could totally pull it off. But what stopped me in my tracks was that I, the proponent of the Hot Mama creed, had always sworn off necklaces whenever grabby hands were near. That meant an almost decade-long costume jewelry drought.

Whoever you are, mama, way to go! :)

Where In The World?

2010-04-20T22:20:00.000-07:00

Computer problems + Moving our house + Spring Break/Torn Ligament in hand = Almost No Blogging

To make up for it (and because I still have the use of only one hand) here's an oldie but goodie:

Birth ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month..

______________________________________________________

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

______________________________________________________

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in..

______________________________________________________

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

_______________________________________________________

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

______________________________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

______________________________________________________

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children

______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

Smile -- you deserve a laugh a day, mama!

Baby Slings Again

2010-03-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

Here's a guide to wearing your baby in a sling the right way:

CPSC Warning on Baby Slings

2010-03-09T15:21:00.000-08:00

After a millenia or so of babywearing, 7 deaths have prompted the Consumer Products Safety Commission to issue a report warning about the use of baby slings and wraps. I gotta say, while every single baby's life is precious and should be mourned, I am not sure that freaking people out about using them is really helpful. (Remember that strollers have their own documented dangers.)

Better that we should help people learn the right way to use them. To that end, NBC4 in Los Angeles interviewed One Hot Mama this afternoon and we hope you'll all tune in to see Roxanne's thoughts about babywearing. Of course, I spoke for an hour and the segment will be all of 2 minutes, but that's showbiz! For more info on baby slings and how awesome they are, read this!

For more instructions about Balboa Baby Slings, which we carry, see here.
For answers to all the sling questions you could ever have, try here.

Bravado Bras And Tanks And Being An Old Mother

2010-03-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

A huge shipment of Bravado nursing bras and Essential Nursing Tanks arrived at One Hot Mama last night ... they'll be available for order in a few hours. Why not right away? Because our first baby, a little 6 pound, 9 ounce titch of a thing who looked for all the world like a plucked chicken when he was born, played for his school in the finals of the 6th grade basketball championship last night -- and won! He had the game of his young life, and it's hard to describe the thrill of seeing the baby I wore in a sling for three straight years (more solid black and brown Balboa Baby slings are on the way as well; right now we have lots of colours) run back and forth for an hour.

Sometimes it seems unreal that babies turn into people. But they do. Enjoy every minute that they smell so fresh and delicious -- because, after a hard game, not so much! :)

Anyway, the entire beginning of 2010 has been filled with games and lots of other family hijinks. Visit my still-relevant pregnancy and nursing posts from before the season began and I promise to catch up soon.

Glamourmom & Balboa Baby

2010-02-17T08:08:00.000-08:00

They're back in stock -- the best adjustable slings and the original nursing bra tanks. We have plenty of both at One Hot Mama! I would say that both items are must-have for any new mother, the ranks of which I no longer join. That's so odd to me, having spend the better part of the last decade wearing a Glamourmom Long Tank and carrying my nursling (or two) in a sling, inspired by Dr. William Sears and his wife Martha. :) Those of you who are mamas of babies, though, stock up!

Family First

2010-01-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

Wow. A month since I've posted any bon mots about motherhood, attachment parenting, breastfeeding or clothes!

The truth is that Christmas with four kids takes a lot of work. We actually went on vacation this year, and had a lovely time, and then I was so cocooned that I decided to actually enjoy my kids instead of write about them for a bit. We've had a rather exciting January, with family crises and moving and surgeries, oh my! Sometimes, you just need to take a break and hang.

Remember that when you feel life is going by you too fast -- just stop and get off the merry go round for a turn.

Be back soon. :)

Moody Mamas & Fierce Mamas Trunk Show

2009-12-18T12:14:00.000-08:00

Get ready for the New Year by stocking up on really hip, adorable maternity and nursing clothes from Moody Mamas and Fierce Mamas by Christian Siriano -- we'll have the One Hot Mama store stocked with their fabulous designer dresses, tops and more Friday, December 18th through Wednesday, December 23rd. Hurry in! (Remember that you can make an appointment for private shopping in the morning or evening by emailing rox@onehotmama.com or texting me at 213-500-4560)

Fun Fun Fun

2009-12-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

We're feeling Christmassy, so our sale is still on at One Hot Mama -- hot maternity and nursing clothes (those are for easy breastfeeding, dear), slings, bras, even Spanx are all 20% off when you buy at least $100 worth of gorgeous stuff. And coming next week, in store only, a Moody Mamas trunk show (yes, the sale will apply). Not samples, not seconds, not last season's castoffs. Write me for details!

Blacktaking Said It First

2009-12-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

And better -- here's her post on a horrific story that is being headlined to scare mums away from nursing. Like they needed more encouragement to not do what comes naturally!

Last Day of our Sale!

2009-11-30T23:18:00.001-08:00

Yes, I took a little holiday. Had myself a birthday and then Thanksgiving. Ahh. To celebrate, we are giving One Hot Mama shoppers 20% off purchases over 100 bucks. Cool. Stock up on your Bravados, Belly Bandits, Balboa Baby Slings, nursing bras, nightgowns -- and get something sexy for yourself as well! Where? Oh, yeah -- http://www.onehotmama.com!

Kourtney Kardashian & The Belly Bandit

2009-11-14T16:35:00.000-08:00

Two very important things to say, here.

1. Have you seen the latest Life & Style magazine (you know you gobble all those glossies up, even if it's only in the checkout line or a doctor's waiting room!). We had to share this page with you:

Why are we so excited about a celebrity pregnancy? Because of the fab custom Belly Bandit she designed with the Banditas. Wherever can you buy this cool, corset-looking postpartum belly wrap that's all the rage? Why, here at One Hot Mama, of course!

2. That said, maybe all new moms need to read this and this as well, and remember that it's 9 months up, and 9 months down. Rock the Bandit, but remember to enjoy your baby and your new shape as well!

(Since the Belly Bandit is one of the few products that I didn't personally use immediately postpartum -- they invented it when my babies were 3 -- here's a review from someone who did.)

What Your Baby Really Wants

2009-11-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

Just to be with you. Really. Seriouslly. When I gave birth for the first time, I really wished that what my baby wanted was to be with the nanny who hovered over us. But, though she was a lovely soul, he wanted to hear the same heartbeat he'd been nestled underneath for 37 weeks. What made me think of this was a lovely new mother I saw the other day whose baby was in a bucket (okay, it was a carseat/infant carrier, but it's really a plastic bucket) the entire time we were together. That, in and of itself, not so bad, and if baby's asleep, I don't care if he went nighty-night in a Home Depot orange janitor's bucket, he's staying put! But this poor newborn was awake, and the grandmother was compulsively rocking the car seat back and forth on the floor with such vigor I was worried she'd launch the little girlie right into the air.

What most babies do best with is quiet, gentle movement. All that jiggling and rocking is tiresome for both of you!

What's Up in the World of Hip, Hot Maternity & Nursingwear

2009-10-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

LOTS! We have so much stuff coming into the store that it's hard to keep track! Add to that my sewing six costumes for the family, and that should explain why this blog has been a bit subdued of late. But come visit the store and see for yourself what great tops, pants and holiday dresses we have for those who are lactating and gestating.

Coming soon -- late-night Thursday shopping hours for those of you who still have jobs!

Why We Love Babies

2009-10-20T12:18:00.000-07:00

Enjoy.

Pregnant in LA? Wanna Be On TV?

2009-10-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

All I can say is that we did a show with these casting directors, who are sweet, and while we had some "what were we thinking" moments, we are always happily surprised to see the show and remember our babies when they were, well, babies. And doing this show means you end up wit some great stuff, I think! :)

Our Hip Maternity & Nursingwear Store Has Moved!

2009-10-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we're still physically located in Studio City, right above Coldstone Creamery and next door to California Pizza Kitchen (yum!) but we've moved our 11-year-old website to a new host -- Amazon. Makes programming easier for my overworked hubby, but makes checkout and shopping waaaaay easier for you mamas to be and nursing mamas! We've even been able to point you in the direction of our favourite strollers and car seats, breast pumps, nursing pillows, cotton diapers, diaper bags and books. (And when I say "we" I mean me. My husband really doesn't get into the breast pump selection thing. That may be too metro for any dad!) One explantion about the strollers & car seats category -- it's heavy on twin things because, well, our last, most equipment-heavy baby experience was with our girls. Even then, I relied heavily on my slings, and wouldn't have another baby without one. But I really won't have another baby (for those who've lost count; we have four) anytime soon, if ever. :)

Browse around the new One Hot Mama online store, and do tell me if you like or hate the changes. But I really hope you love them.

Tall? Really Tall? Pregnant? This Chick Can Help

2009-10-07T13:17:00.001-07:00

Tall mamas to be can rejoice. I sometimes get desperate calls from girls who love One Hot Mama's clothes, but aren't 5'2" like me (which of course, makes me jealous. Ditto about straight-haired girls). Maternity clothes aren't made in a wide range of sizes because they don't have as large a market as non-pregnant people.

So look what I found for a customer today! Maternity jeans with a 36-37 inch inseam!!

This Is What It Feels Like to Be Pregnant With Multiples

2009-10-01T19:29:00.001-07:00

Ah, memories. :) The story of the hen who gave her life in the heroic feat of laying this egg is here.

Our Los Angeles-Area Maternity Store

2009-10-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

So nice to have people notice what we're trying to do, which is to help mamas look their best. Check out this sweet yelp review:

It's hard to find a genuine mom-and-pop establishment in Studio City these days, but this is one of them so I highly recommend them.

Thanks so much! Read the rest by following the link above. And note that we are now only open on Sundays by appointment -- just email or call us by Saturday afternoon and we'll take care of you.

Take Your Babies Out To Dinner!

2009-09-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

Are you the parents of a new or not-so-new baby? Are you craving a meal you didn't cook, or one that doesn't arrive in a cardboard box? Then get yourself out of the house and patronize your neighborhood bistro -- little one in tow. I know that lots of people say that children shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. And heaven forbid you feed your baby mothers milk while you eat. (Tip: take a sling so you can nurse and dine at the same time!)

Now, I know you have had this conversation with your friends or family or spouse, or all three, and you don't know what to do. I merrily traipsed around the world with our four and nursed them everywhere and left several establishments when a baby couldn't hold in their loud protestations. I'm not talking about taking a crying baby to Le Cirque on a Saturday night. But now that Bob and I are no longer the parents of people whose diapers require changing, I think I can finally speak from the other side of the fence.

We were in Mammoth, California this weekend (installing laminate floors in a condo while our girls watched about 12 hours of tv at a stretch) and went out to dinner on Saturday. We hit Gomez's around 7:30. There was a baby in the dining room who occasionally bleated out baby sounds, and while I noticed them (like I noticed a peal of laughter or clinking silverware) it was no big deal. Okay, the big deal was that a baby was making noises and for the first time in twelve years, it wasn't one of ours!! Also, my breasts didn't ache at the sounds of hunger. And there were lots of people and sounds in the room. Nobody cares -- really cares -- about the momentary vocalizations of your baby. So hit the road. Help a local restaurant out. And feel like a grown-up again. :)

Pregnant With Twins -- What to Do?

2009-09-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

If you found this blog because you want to carry your twins to term and birth them naturally, you've come to the right place. You probably saw us on Bringing Home Baby, or visited our store.

In any case, congrats! It feels like just yesterday that I saw two yolk saks on a routine confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound and FREAKED OUT!! Here are the first --and most important -- things I can share with you.

Run, don't walk, to our Amazon store and get Dr. Barbara Luke's twin book. She's the one who has correlated early weight gain with fuller term, higher birthweight babies. I'm 5'2" and 110, and everyone who knew I was having twins would say, they'll be early, or you'll be in NICU (neonatal intensive care) then. I was determined not to, especially because I had a 4 and 7 year old at the time. So if you hear nothing else from me, remember this -- gain 20 pounds by 20 weeks!!! That's pretty much how much I gained total in my singleton pregnancies (around 25) and it was really hard work to eat that much, because I'm on a gluten-free diet. But I did it (why? Because near the end of your pregnancy, you will be full after two bites of salad -- babies are taking up all the room). My girls were born -- drug-free -- 3 hours shy of their 39th week, at 6 pounds 2 and 6 pounds 5 (my singletons were 6.14 and 6.9, so I don't make babies much bigger than that). They nursed immediately and went home in 2 days.

You can do it. I was in class with Gurumukh on Saturday and they were born on Monday. I joined the Y and swam every day, not because I'm a swimmer (so not) but to relieve the pain of carrying all that weight. It was glorious to be in the water.

You gotta start now!!! :) Enjoy. Be strong. You're going to have an amazing time -- it's a real privilege to carry any baby, but two is extra miraculous!

Big Girls Don't Cry

2009-09-15T13:48:00.001-07:00

Suffice it to say that becoming a mother means, theoretically, that you are now a grownup. (Yes, even if you're chronologically challenged -- you're about to be responsible for another human being, so whether you're 16 or 36, this is where the rubber meets the road.) I've literally helped hundreds of moms and moms to be online and in my store who are completely flummoxed by the changes in their bodies.

That's because, no matter how many pregnancy books you've read or Baby Story episodes you've seen, you won't know how pregnancy will look on you until your body is well into its explosion of blood volume, weight and hormones. (Sounds so sexy, doesn't it?) And while we all want to think that we'll just have our regular bodies, but with a cute basketball tummy attached, the truth is that our other body parts will want to be at the pregnancy party as well. As my dear sister said to me when I was thinking I was all belly around 7 months along with my first, "oh, no, sweetie. I'm behind you, and your ass is definitely pregnant as well!"

So I can imagine your surprise and shock when you discovered that the part of you that really got into your pregnancy (or your nursing) was your boobs. We've been motoring along in our childless lives, thinking that a DD cup was really well endowed. Nursing mamas know that the alphabet's the limit when it comes to bountiful breasts! While we have to accept all these changes gracefully as a small price to pay for our wonderful kids, I have seen women reduced to tears when they find out their new bra size is an F cup or larger. They really weep when they see what the available options are for purchase (One Hot Mama hasn't sold these options before due to their complete lameness, stylewise.)

So rejoice, girls! Bravado has a hot new item called the Sublime Nursing Bra. It's perfect for large-breasted mamas, and we're making sure you feel even more special by only stocking it in F to I cup sizes. What's even better, it comes in band sizes 32 to 38 and there are adorable matching knickers (panties to Americans).

Just be careful that feeling all sexy and pretty again doesn't lead to, well, you know, more of the above.

From The Woman With Four Children ;)

Never Forget

2009-09-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today, we remember the 2,996 souls who perished on 9/11. In addition to those innocents, remember the survivors, many of whom were babies and children when their parents were killed. We always think of one member of the One Hot Mama community whose husband died in the World Trade Center and who, though grieving, had to nurse and raise her infant. Wherever you are, and to all those with friends and family who are no longer here, we wish you godspeed, and we hope a small measure of peace.

One More Day

2009-09-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow the twins start preschool and then I start the long slow climb back to regular-person productivity. Meanwhile, I pray the Lord will forgive me for all the whining I did about how hard life was with one -- only ONE -- baby to nurse and change and nap with!!!!!

(But remember mamas, nothing's harder than that first baby. If only we could work out all the kinks on a starter baby you could give back to your sister, say!) :)

Once Kids Are In School I Can Blog Again -- Until Then, A Few Random Thoughts

2009-09-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

Two down, 2 more to go. After Labor Day I will once again have this blog putting along, but having all four kids at home all summer has tapped my reserves of creativity, will and free time. To make you laugh, here's a sampler from an email making the rounds (that I am sure was written by a guy, so you can share with your hubby):

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old:

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent some jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or
tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet money, everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes
closed, first time...every time...
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?
It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and
the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Swing Low, Sweet Boobies!

2009-08-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Q: The other day I happened to be nursing and sat down in front of a mirror (for the first time in five years of nursing!) and was horrified to notice that my baby's head was *clearly* at the same level as my navel. Picture it, can you understand my horror? Please help with any suggestions you might have. Is an underwire bra in order (please say no!)?

A: You are quite a funny lady. I got your letter and after picking myself of the floor, I ran to the mirror. I am going to tell you what supermodels and others who make a living in front of the camera already know. Gravity works. Not only have you been lactating (which, by itself, does *not* change the shape of your breasts), but you've been pregnant once or twice and you have aged five years. Have you gotten a load of Susan Sarandon's boobies lately? They hang *real* low, and everyone labels her the sexiest mama in the known universe. What do actresses/models do? They know that angle is everything, and if they're over the age of 22, they use surgical tape to hold up their lovely assets. Of course, a fair percentage of my fellow Los Angelenos have assets of the silicone variety, so don't judge yourself against surgically enhanced perfection.

When you look in the mirror next, take stock, then breathe in deeply and straighten out your spine as if it continued up and out of your head and was being pulled from above. Use your back and abdominal muscles to support your spine, which will help your twins to stand as proud as they're able. Posture really counts!

Now, I know lots of lactation consultants are anti-underwire, but I used to wear them all the time and had no issues. Lots of bra companies even have mock underwire these days, which is like a flexible plastic version. Our own Belly Materna bra uses a flat, flexible version that shouldn't cause any mastitis problems. The real danger to nursing breasts is an ill-fitting (too tight) bra -- and lots of us just use the size we were pre-baby as our forever size. The next time you get a minute sans baby, go to a real lingerie store (NOT Victoria's Secret) and get measured properly for a bra. Don't just get the size you've always gotten. Try on a variety of styles, including underwire. You'll be amazed at the difference. And don't worry about how you look naked. Men are just happy to see any boobies at all, usually! :-)

One Hot Mama is Back!

2009-08-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

What? You say. You left town and your business? Yep, Bob and I and the kids have been in Wyoming taking our first big break in a year. Actually, he's still there and I flew back with the twins by myself in order to get orders out to our hot mamas! :)

While flying, I noticed a lot of people who were not so nice to stressed-out travelling mums who had kids under 2 (mine were actually so easy, now that they're 4!) More on that tomorrow. In the meantime, come visit our Studio City/Los Angeles-area maternity store -- I have some hot duds in for this incredibly hot weather (okay, in Wyoming I saw fresh snow and hail, so the heat comes as a surprise!)

Los Angeles Moms to Be Needed!

2009-08-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that One Hot Mama is the place to get their Belly Bandits, the amazing postpartum belly wraps (see Kym Douglas gab about the Bandits on this morning news show). Well, we have really good news -- if you are more than 4 months pregnant, live in Southern California, and are free to visit the office of the fabulous Banditas on August 6th between 6:00 and 8:00 pm, you can score yourself a free original Belly Bandit® and receive a $10 gift voucher for the hottest maternity store in Los Angeles -- One Hot Mama! They need pregnant women to try on some of their newest products and give them some feedback. They are looking for your help to make their brand even better -- and it couldn't be easier!

Remember, the confab will take place on Thursday, August 6th at the Belly Bandit corporate offices in West Hollywood, not too far from the Beverly Center.

If you're interested please email Kari@bellybandit.com for further information. And tell your pregnant friends!

One Hot Mama Celebrates a Win With a Sale!

2009-07-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

Big, good news. One Hot Mama maternity & nursingwear is a real mom-and-pop business. We've been around for 11 years and I took four of those years off to gestate and raise our twin girls. Starting in September 2008, I came back to work and we've been busting our tushies to offer a great selection of hip clothes and accessories -- all for moms and moms-to-be. Our hard work paid off when we were included in Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine's annual survey of their readers in the category of Best Online Maternity Store.

The results are in and we came in 2nd!!! Which, as Avis can tell you, is a great place to be. :) Two reasons. (1) We really do try harder. And (2) the overall winner was Destination Maternity, which happens to be the website for the Mothers Work conglomerate, owners of Pea in the Pod, Mimi Maternity & Motherhood. Not too shabby for a boutique that's based on personal service, selection and great value. Thank you for all your support and the votes that you placed for us.

Our gift to you is ... a sale!!

I gotta tell you, I join those of you who find it completely annoying that stores sell out of swimsuits and shorts just when it gets hot, instead putting winter coats in their windows in August. We're such contrarians at One Hot Mama that I still have summer stock arriving daily. Of course, we're in California, where it's 102 well into October! Anyway, shop away, and remember that we're here to help you be One Hot Mama!

Coolest Maternity Crop Pants on Sale

2009-07-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

I love love love these Dragon Crop pants from Juliet Dream! Not only are they super comfy; they're super cute! (And I remember when designer Limor started her business -- back when my baby was still a baby!)

I just love easy-to-wear stuff -- and I have to tell you that I just got a pair of these, and, after four children, we are done. Baby days are over (sniff, sniff) but when duds are this cute, you just have to bite. And they're on sale -- The Coolest Crops are pictured below, and both are now just $59 -- regular retail was $78!!

Why Baby's Birthdays Are Big For Mamas

2009-07-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Today is my first baby's birthday. I remember the very moment he was born, after a "if you don't push him out right now, we have to have a section you!" command (talk about motivation!). All purple and not breathing for what seemed like minutes (probably only seconds, but long enough for Bob and I to be scared and not breathe ourselves). And tiny, and goopy. But so tiny and really easy to see the still-present existence of a miracle. What a gift.

Now my baby is still surprising me, with his amazing devotion to basketball. His lightning speed and ability to help other kids find their game. His ability to strip a computer game or new piece of electronics and make it work for him, instead of always cursing technology like his old mum. My baby is still sweet, and he is twelve today. He's a good person.

You may just be pregnant, or your baby might be toddling, but try to remember this one thing -- what's important isn't the clothes you wear or the fabulous stroller you sport, but the end result. What kind of person are you trying to give to the world? Dennis Prager had an interesting challenge the other day; he said, ask your child whether they think you want them to most be -- happy or good or successful. The answer, of course, should be good. (ie, Bernie Madoff's parents would not be so proud about his ill-gotten gains. And he was certainly happy in that swank apartment. Good? Not so much.)

Imagine what result you'd like, and work backwards from there. Parent for your result.

I Hate People Telling Me to Breastfeed!

2009-07-08T23:31:00.000-07:00

? With my first baby, I didn’t nurse because the lactation consultant was so hard-core and pushy about its benefits. I’m pregnant again and hate all those people telling me how good nursing is. What should I do?

A. Look, don’t not nurse because you think women who do are hard-core militants. That’s like not becoming a mother because you hate minivans. (I confess, the dorky-car-factor did make me think twice about getting pregnant. But now my crew of four kids, two of their friends and my hubby can all fit in our Honda Odyssey. Happily.) You’re still you, you’ll just be using your breasts for good. You can have the same friends you used to, see the same movies (only they’ll be on video). But to not breastfeed because of what some breastfeeding supporters say, is, well, not making me think you're mature enough for motherhood, actually.

Here's the real deal -- government-sponsored PSAs and formula-advertising "breast is best" canards aside, the reason you have breasts is to feed your baby. I liken nursing to using my right leg. Yeah, they have all these really cool high-tech prosthetics now, and boy, if you somehow couldn't use or lost your own leg, it would be such a blessing to be able to have a mechanical one -- but what would you say if Bulow Biotech showed up at your local baby fair pitching their amazing artificial limbs? Would you trade a working one for one of their cool models? No shaving required, totally convenient, never have to deal with charley horses again!

Damn skippy you wouldn't. You would certainly praise them to the heavens for all those in need of a new leg, but you would stick with the one God (insert "The Universe" or "Nature" if you prefer) gave you as long as you could. Same with mother's milk. And mother's breasts. I know that it might be hard at first, and that your doctor won't take the time with you to help, and that the first lactation consultant you encounter may have the beside manner of Bill the Cat, but don't let that distract you from the Truth -- you (meaning, 95% of women with intact breasts) have all you need to feed your baby with you right now. For the rare exceptions, or in cases of medical issues or separation or maternal death, there are, thankfully, milk banks and after that, formula.

If you're grown up enough to have a child, you're grown enough to read the information that abounds about all the benefits, nutrients and more that breastmilk surprise. But always remember the One Hot Mama Law of Parenting -- if it's free and readily available with minimal effort on your part, that's that's the way to go. Try it for 6 weeks at no cost; if it's not working for you, return your breasts for the full money-back guarantee!

Happy Fourth of July!

2009-07-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

We're taking the entire weekend off -- the store's closed and I'm trying to stay away from the laptop -- to celebrate the birth of a glorious experiment, the United States of America!

I visited from Jamaica during the Bicentennial, and since then, the land of the Red, White & Blue has become my beloved home. Enjoy the parades, the beach parties and barbeque, the hot dogs and miles of bunting this weekend. And remember that we live in the land of the free because of the brave!

See you next week! If you need a One Hot Mama fix, order online -- if you're in Los Angeles and looking for maternity or nursingwear, and can't wait til Tuesday, order online and hold for pickup in the store on Monday!

One Hot Mama, Customer Service, Amazon & The Belly Bandit

2009-06-28T21:38:00.000-07:00

What a mouthful! :) But I really need to cover all these topics in one post. I've been getting some calls and emails that deal with above over and over again, so I'm putting the FAQs in one place!

As some of you know, One Hot Mama is almost 11 years old. (I can keep track easily because our son, whose birth inspired the whole operation, is about to turn 12!!) For more than a decade, my husband Bob and I have run what we hope is the coolest place to buy maternity and nurswingwear on the internet with one goal: to treat every customer like we would like to be treated. The One Hot Mama Golden Rule is that we want you all to be happy hot mamas, and we spell out our customer service information for all to see from every page of our site.

A few years ago, we became Amazon merchants. Our Amazon storefront has all the great maternity duds, nursingwear and accessories (like baby slings and Belly Bandits) that One Hot Mama has, with the added advantage of the Amazon name. Face it -- sometimes when you search around the internet, you find what you want and then wonder if it's safe to buy it from Joe Schmo, who probably is running his store out of his basement. Or his mother's. (Just for the record, One Hot Mama has a gorgeous store in Los Angeles, in the Studio City area. If you're in the neighborhood and in the market for hip maternity clothes, come visit!). If that sounds like you, Amazon offers the protection you need -- we don't even see your payment information!

All Amazon merchants aren't the same, however. Each one sets their own shipping prices, and their own return policies. One of the hottest sellers in our store is the Belly Bandit Postpartum Tummy Cincher/Belly Wrap -- hot mamas love these in the Original, Couture and Bamboo styles. What they don't love is getting the size wrong, which they often do. Hey, they have to predict the circumference of their postpartum waists when they can't even see their feet! It's not easy! Of course, we try to help.

But the point of this entire post is to answer all the mamas who call me and say, "what if I get the wrong size?" Not a problem. You see, life is too short for us to make you call us and get some return authorization number, or to pay again for us to ship a replacement or (horrors!) to charge you a restocking fee. You just had a baby, so we make returns and exchanges easy. The fact that you can get to the post office is deserving of some sort of award. In fact, my youngest babies are now 4, and I have in my purse at this very moment a top that needs to go back for a different size -- it's been in that purse for two months. At this point, I'm just waiting for someone smaller than me to have a birthday so I can pretend I bought it for them!

But I digress. (As usual.) The point is that, no matter what you buy from One Hot Mama, no matter where you buy it (through Amazon or from our site directly), you'll get the same great treatment. Because I have been there. And you deserve to be treated, well, like the one hot mama you are.

Breastfeeding Myths -- Debunked, Busted & Destroyed

2009-06-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

Strong words, but true. Dr. Jack Newman's page of Breastfeeding Myths addresses some common (breastfeeding moms have to change their diets) and just plain stupid (breastfeeding moms can't dye their hair) misconceptions about nursing. Wow, there are a lot of them!

The only one that's missing something is below:

12. There is no way to know how much breastmilk the baby is getting. Not
true! There is no easy way to measure how much the baby is getting, but
this does not mean that you cannot know if the baby is getting enough. The
best way to know is that the baby actually drinks at the breast for several
minutes at each feeding (open mouth wide—pause—close mouth type of suck).

I'll just remind you here that you can measure input by measuring output. Check poopy and wet diapers. We used charts with the twins to make sure we weren't applying April's diapers to Georgia and just not feeding her! :) If you can't tell if your super-absorbant disposables are wet, put in a square of toilet paper every time you change your baby.

Now go forth and use your breasts for their intended purpose -- free food for baby!

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

This is for the One Cool Papa behind One Hot Mama:

I couldn't do it without you. Our family is a gift for both of us, and I am lucky to have a husband who I always knew would be such a good father.

For all the new mamas who may be thinking "yeah, wish I was so lucky ... my husband doesn't carry his weight at all!" -- here's a newsflash. I was like you for almost the entire first year of my son's life. Noting how much sleep I didn't get in comparison to how much my hubby did, how many hours I was nursing while he "got" to be out at work, and how much freer he was. Guess what? Men and women are different, and even if you've gone the full bottle-feeding route, the baby came out of your body (or some other woman's body, if you adopted). Yin and Yang. Black and white. Alpha and Omega. You're both necessary, just in different ways. So take a chill pill, toss your clock and stop taking inventory. You're in it together -- give him a big happy father's day hug!

What to Say to a Parent Who's Losing It

2009-06-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

We've had a busy last few days -- Father's Day, then my Mum's 65th (!) birthday on Monday, then we took all four kids to Disneyland yesterday evening for our last hurrah until the SoCal annual pass works again in late August.

While we were shepherding everyone into a couple tables with the million dollars of fast food, I noticed a dad behind us with a double stroller (like us) and a kid on his back. The twins were under 2, and the "big kid" was just under 4. I was amazed by how overwhelming it looked to me -- he was outnumbered, after all, and he looked dazed. And then I remembered that we had been in that same situation with one extra kid! Our newborn twins came home to a house with a 4 and a 7 year old. No wonder people looked at me like I was pulling rabbits out of a hat.

Since I remembered the feeling of being so outnumbered and physically drained by every outing, I said something to him. He lit up, and we talked frankly about how hard little kids/babies can be. Turns out his wife had committed herself for a while. While that seems extreme, that leads me to the original inspiration for this post. When you see a parent losing it with their child in public, is it right to say something? The article starts with evidence of Liv Tyler daring to confront someone who's slapping a little kid -- as well she should.

Here's what I do, when I can. (As in, when my own kids aren't going so nutty as to distract me from a potential nuclear bomb going off next to me.) Yes, say something. Not necessarily along the lines of, "you suck as a parent." More in the vein of, "your daughter is beautiful/spirited/just like mine." Lie, if you have to (you can invent a child who did that very thing, for example), but try to speak to the person inside the screaming nut. That can often difuse a bad situation. Back to my dad-of-twins-and-a-toddler interaction -- speak to the people who are quietly losing it as well. The mom struggling to nurse her newborn, the parents schlepping luggage and kids through Customs & Immigration. The companion of the tantrum thrower in the checkout line.

All you have to say is, "I've been there." Those of us who've lost it will appreciate it.

Sometimes The Advice You Give Is The Advice You Need

2009-06-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

Just found this one in the archives, and was checking it for the blog, when I realized that I needed to hear this exact rant today! Maybe you do as well ...

Q: I am a 22-year-old-mother of three. My children are 4yrs, 2yrs, and 3 months. I am having a very hard time getting back to my weight after my third child. After my first two I dropped my weight back down to 130lbs. I am now at 150 and no matter what I do I can not shake the weight.

I am also breastfeeding, therefore I can not diet as normal dieters do. I cannot take supplements or fill up pills. I have been working out 5 days a week since my youngest was 6 weeks old. I lost a few pounds at the beginning, but now I am stuck at 150. I am 5ft 7in tall and want to get back down to 130. Most of the weight that I can not shake is, of course, my flabbing tummy, hips and thighs (inner and outer). I can not stand it. I am so upset about this it has really affected me emotionally and socially. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!
Thank you,Lindsay

A: Dear, dear Lindsay:
What a timely letter (they often are). I'm going to answer it in the Ask Rox forum, because you've hit a nerve that will be familiar, I think, to a great many hot mamas. First, let me say what all mothers need to hear:

You have a great body
Your body birthed a baby
And is feeding a baby
That's one great body

Okay, platitudes aside, here's the dope. First of all, you have no idea what your "my weight" is, because you got pregnant with your first child before you even finished growing! My body at 17 was not the body I had at 23 was not the body I had at 27, and I had no children in that time. In my late teens, I was a rail with no discernible chest, then I went to college and gained the proverbial "freshman fifteen," which, in typical overachiever's fashion was actually twenty pounds. Bear in mind that I am just over 5 foot 2 and have the smallest frame possible (meaning really small bones -- my wrist is so small I have to cut down children's watches). Therefore, I had a face shaped like a Moon Pie and a chest like Dolly Parton's. Now, after weaning my daughter, I am still smallish, but thickwaisted from the front, and now, I once again have no discernible chest. All these bodies have been mine. In retrospect, some I liked more than others, but they were always good to me, though I was not so good to them.

Let me be blunt -- if you decide to climb Everest, you'll have to prepare for about a year. Get in the best physical shape of your life, find a reputable climbing outfit, raise money, get fitted out and find your way to Nepal. You'll learn about Everest, and one of the things you will learn is that it's rather chilly there. Once there, when you notice that it's cold, will it surprise you? Will you mention it repeatedly? Will it affect your self esteem? No, because you have other fish to fry. Well, having a baby (just one, mind you) is like climbing Everest, physically and mentally. We should try to be in the best shape possible before getting pregnant, we should prep by taking folic acid before even trying to get pregnant, we should stay in great shape throughout the pregnancy -- knowing that labor is a marathon and that the fourth trimester is fraught with hormonal changes, night sweats and mood swings the likes of which are hardly ever seen outside a Turkish prison. But we don't, because we're human. And, you, my dear Lindsay, have climbed Everest THREE TIMES in the past four years!! What, exactly, did you think your thighs might look like at this point? :)

To extend the Everest metaphor (only because I've read a cool book about it, not because I ever climbed anything resembling a mountain, myself. In fact, the description of the travails involved in getting to the BASE CAMP of Everest pretty much were enough to wipe that off my to-do list permanently!), after such a grueling climb, it takes weeks if not months for the climbers to recover. Vicki Iovine, one of my personal goddesses, writes in one of her umpteen books that, whether she put on a leotard and headed out to step class the minute her doctor gave her the go-ahead or just spent the entire post-partum time at Gymboree, her body needed, what a surprise, about 9 months to take off the weight it took nine months to put on! If you have three kids in four years, you can pretty much expect a forecast of slightly flabby, with fat in the horizon and storm clouds full of stretch marks. If we are to be quite frank, the same weight post-baby doesn't look just like it did pre-baby, right? For our New Year's Resolutions, Bob and I decided to get into great shape. All went well, for about three months, then he took off with Gilad's Quick-Fit System, and I got sick, busy, tired and trailed off. At this moment, it feels easier to get pregnant again so that my not-so-firm tummy would have a raison d'etre than to get back up on that Reebok Step I asked for last Christmas.

At this point, you're probably asking yourself, "Did she even READ my question? I feel yucky and want to look good!!" I do hear you, but I just want to point out that your body is just coming off a long, weird cycle of up/down, pregnant/not and is tired all the time. Not optimum for an Olympic athlete, not optimum for you. What can you do? Here's my 9-step program for looking and feeling great while nursing a baby and being a mom (do I need to remind everyone here that I'm not a doctor, have only played a nurse on tv and that all weight loss and exercise programs should be started under a doctor's supervision? Well, I just did.)

From us, the Spanx power panty and stuff will hold it all in til your insides adjust and your muscles get stronger. Look good immediately.
Stop wearing big, baggy or shapeless clothes. This only makes you look like hell. Go get a pair or two of pants or skirts and some tops that fit you now, flatter your face and that have some colour. Wear a little makeup and let your hair down sometimes.
Stand up straight and as tall as you can.
Throw away your scale. It's fairly useless. You can weigh 125 and be all flab, or 150 and be a sculpted vision. Muscle weighs more than fat, anyhow. Did you know that many anorexics are medically obese, because of the complete lack of muscle in their builds?
I checked your weight out for your height. It is a bit on the heavy side of normal, but you just had another baby, and may be big-boned. I tried looking up your BMI, which measures your body fat as a function of your height and weight, but found that ... "BMI is reliable for most people between 19 and 70 years of age except women who are pregnant or breast feeding, competitive athletes, body builders, and chronically ill patients." That about says it all right there, doesn't it? You're still a little bit pregnant, so let it go.
Check out DeniseAustin.com. She's got a half-hour show on Lifetime every morning that's a good, complete workout. She's a mommy of two, and she's full of practical, helpful, non-fad advice. If you can't get the show, to her store and get dvd or two.
Did I already mention tossing the scale? Just checking.
That's great that you're not popping any diet pills. Geesh! That shouldn't occur to you.
Even though some of these suggestions involve getting a book or a tape, being healthy shouldn't involve paying anyone anything. Get the books and tapes at the local library, if you prefer. Speaking of which, get this one:
Eat Well, Lose Weight While Breastfeeding. I haven't read it yet, but I'd bet one of the things it suggests is to not clear the table by eating the last of the mac and cheese and pepperoni pizza that my kids live on! Other mothers seem to like this book, so it'll probably be helpful.
Don't have any more babies for a couple years. Seriously, a woman's body needs two years after the birth of a child before getting pregnant again just to replenish lost minerals and let bones get back into place. I want another baby, but I just feel like I need a minute longer or my very bones will snap.
Learn to dress the body you have now -- Trinny & Susanna of BBC's What Not Wear are your guides in this -- get either this book or What You Wear Can Change Your Life.

I hope some or all of this is helpful. Realize one very important thing ... the woman giving you this advice is thirty-seven and a half years old, so all the stuff I did after my two pregnancies was harder because I'm practically a grandmother agewise!! :) My body now is better and stronger than it was at 23, and in ten years, yours will be as fabulous as you want it to be. Put the focus on your insides -- how they feel. If you can keep up with THREE little kids, you are a strong and amazing young woman. Looking like a hot bod on the outside requires hours of dedication ... part of the reason Jennifer Garner of Alias and her husband are splitting is that if she wasn't at work, she was at the gym. Okay, that's according to the Enquirer -- but they're usually a little bit right. You already have a full-time workout on your plate -- with a 4-yr-old, a 2-yr-old and a 3-month-old trainer. Write me back when everyone's in school and you're able to run a couple miles a day. You'll be missing this mushy body time you had with your babies! :)

_______________

Update. Wow. I am now 43, and have had two more babies (at once!) and am once again faced with the reality of a not-so-great body. Denise Austin is no longer on Lifetime every morning, and I have slowly let go of my thrice-weekly workout in favour of collapsing in front of HGTV (house porn, really!) at the end of the day. I have to take my own advice, and be easier and harder on myself at the same time. Maybe you need to do that as well.

You Matter, by the Great Seth Godin

2009-06-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

For all you hot mamas and cool papas ...

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.
When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other
people before yourself, you matter.
When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.
When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter. When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.
When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.
When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.
When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.
When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.
When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.
And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter.

And when you're a parent, there's a good chance you'll be all of the above.

(For more from marketing and life genius, Seth Godin, visit his blog.)

How To Be One Hot Grandmama

2009-06-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

This is great -- confirmation that my mom and mother-in-law are trendsetters. Here's an article about Boomers ditching the name Grandma, which does sound so fuddy duddy.

How does it work at our house?

'Steen for my mom, whose name is Christene;
Gralice for Bob's mom, whose name is Alice (contraction of Grandmother and her name);
Poppa for Bob's dad;
Ganpa Douglas for my father.

There are many more variants for our various steps, but our cool birth parents led the way!

Is Breastfeeding Confining, Time-Consuming and Tough?

2009-06-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Q: People are telling me that nursing is confining, time-consuming and difficult. Is it?

A: Yes. So is being a parent, but you’re doing that. I don’t know of a way to mother that won’t take up a lot of what used to be your time, unless immediately post-partum, you hand the baby to a trusted person and then leave the room, never to be seen or heard from again. If that’s the relationship you’re looking for, get a cat.

Nursing is only confining if you let it be. Once you learn to nurse in public (see my Rules of The Road post for tips), you can go anywhere, and I mean, anywhere. It’s actually less confining than formula, because you can decide to take off to Mexico on Friday at noon and be on the road by 2 (been there, done that). A 10-hour delay in a third-world airport is no biggie (yes, we’ve done that too) nor is a snowstorm or earthquake or hurricane (thankfully, haven’t done that). You can feed your baby anywhere (and if the situation were really dire, you could also feed everyone else trapped in the hut with you).

Time-consuming, yes, but so is washing and prepping bottles and shopping for formula and going to the doctor (statistically, formula-fed babies get sick more often. That doesn’t mean that your particular baby will, or that your breastfed baby won’t, but chances are he’ll follow the norm). Not to mention that, there are worse things to do with your time than being forced to sit in a rocking chair and get the hormonal buzz that comes from nursing. And once you figure out how to nurse in a sling, you’ll be unstoppable. (Buy one from us!)

Difficult? I got a question for you — wasn’t sex kind of tough to figure out the first time? And maybe even the second. But you clearly persisted enough to become a mom. There are two people who need to learn to nurse here, one is you, and the other is baby. And he’s also learning to breathe, to poop, to live in a non-liquid environment. His schedule is full. He may be having a tough time too. So be patient. One thing is true: done correctly, nursing should not hurt. Get help if it does. It could be that baby’s lips aren’t pouting in a fish-face shape, or he has thrush, or a short frenulum or any one of a gazillion little things that an experienced lactation consultant or doctor or LaLeche League leader would notice. Read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for troubleshooting.

And remember, even one day of nursing is beneficial to your baby. So try it for one week. Then another. And another. Go as long as you can, and you’ll reap a lifetime of benefits. After all, you can always go from breast to bottle, but the reverse is a really tough road.

Gratitude in Another Latitude

2009-06-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

So we participated in the one-year blogiversary of the Blacktating Blog, and the winner of a shiny, new One Hot Mama gift certificate was a mama blogger who lives in Korea! I love how the internet makes the world even smaller!

Something she said in her nice post about winning was so true about moms in general that it bears repeating:

I decided to treat myself and buy whatever I liked instead of trying to buy the
most practical thing.

How many times do we mamas, when presented with a Mothers Day gift card or some unexpected cash, use it for diapers? Okay, I know that times are certainly squishy, economically, and who knows what the future holds, but if you are nursing your baby, you are contributing to the bottom line (insert your own baby poop joke here). But I do remember feeling stricken by guilt if I wanted to get a magazine in the checkout line (house porn is my thing!) because I was no longer working -- but I had to be reminded by my dear hubby that I was working, just no longer getting a paycheque!

The next time you get a little bonus, use it for a mama treat -- from a $5 magazine to a new car. Okay, that would have to be a heck of a bonus. If you get that one that big, use some of it One Hot Mama -- we have tons of new stuff! :)

Exhausted With a Newborn? Sounds About Right

2009-05-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

Q: I have been breastfeeding my newborn since he was born 8 days ago. I am exhausted, and am not sure how I can go out in public, or have people over. Is it okay to pump for those types of occasions so early? Do I need to wait 3 weeks? I do not want the baby to like the bottle better than me, so that is why I am worried.

A: Congrats on your baby boy, and to you for going through the marathon of pregnancy and delivery. However your baby was born, you are recovering from a not-small event. Your body is going through huge changes, and dealing with the demands of a being that's totally dependent on you. Bottlefeeding won't actually change that (darnit!) :). I have four kids, and it's ALWAYS a shock how relentless the demands of the first months are.

Do you know how to nurse lying down? Since nursing at the beginning is pretty much what you do all day and night, get youself in a position to be half-asleep while doing it. Remember that your baby is heading into his 10-day growth spurt, and will be at the breast even more in order to build up your supply.

As for nursing in front of people, they're the ones who are at the home of a newborn, so it won't be shocking. I hate nursing covers with a passion (it looks like you accidentaly tucked in a tablecloth) and they're unnecessary. You don't even need nursing clothes. Just practice, which is hard to get in 8 days. Check out my blog for info on how to do it discreetly.

As for the pumping, until your body adjusts its supply at around 6 weeks, it's just adding more work to your already tiring day! And it's not any where as effeicient as baby. If you're lucky enough to have great household help or a hands-on, not-at-work hubby (which is the only way that considering pumping would save you time), have them make you food, buy you new clothes and otherwise pamper you like the princess you are. While you eat, nurse and watch tv or read. You're still a little bit pregnant, so be easy on yourself!

You are doing the best thing for your baby -- but almost more importantly, for you as well! Those hormones will help your mood, the contractions are making your uterus smaller, and the convenience (trust me) can't be beat. You need to talk to someone who's been in your boat, not just all your well-meaning friends and family who are visiting in their gloriously unattached, dressed-and-made-up states. Find a LaLeche League meeting or check out the Pump Station's support groups (in LA) and go.

Good luck -- you're the best parent for your child.

Hang In There, Baby!

2009-05-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, you may be too young to remember this poster, but it was everywhere in the 70s, which is when my family moved to America from Jamaica. I love that it pretty much sums up how my husband and I feel at the end of a week like this one -- wrung out and barely hanging on! You may have had more than a few days like that since becoming parents, especially if you're a mom. No matter how well-prepared, mature and ready you were (like I thought I was), being responsible 24/7 for the care and feeding of a helpless little creature was a bit like being sucker punched.

But at least babies need us, right? Then they become toddlers and seem to spend all their waking hours either arguing with us ("Me do it!") or attempting to cause themselves bodily harm. Don't they get that throwing themselves into traffic, say, is just proving Darwin's case? Keeping them alive becomes even more physically exhausting than taking care of a newborn, which you hardly thought possible at the time. That whole sleep-deprivation thing wasn't even approved of without the presence of a doctor at Gitmo, and there you are, alone with a wailing mass of protoplasm who you have the responsibility of nursing every two hours throughout the night, without so much as a thank you, much less a watchful nurse with a clipboard who'll put a stop to the whole thing before you start hallucinating.

But I digress. I was trying to make you feel better. More to the point, I was trying to make myself feel better. Here's the money shot: if you have kids that aren't at full-time-school age, you are under siege. Not like in a real war, of course, but as real as it gets in LA's San Fernando Valley. So cut yourself some slack. Get off your own back. Realize that, although you may be out of the baby years, the light doesn't break into the murky shadows of the tunnel until they're safely in kindergarten. By then, of course, you may have done what we did, which is to re-up for another tour (man, this is a lot of battle imagery for a city girl. It was clearly a mad week!). We've had babies and/or toddlers in the house for almost twelve straight years. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it is different on the other side. At least, that's what I hear. :)

Go snuggle with your honey and hug your kiddies. Work, stardom, fortune -- all those can wait. But once kindergarten starts, watch out, world!!

Happy Memorial Day!

2009-05-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

Now that you're a mom, or about to be one, you may feel a little extra gratitude in your expanded heart for those who've fallen in service to this amazing country. I sure do. As we barbeque and swim our hearts out today, remember to say Thank You!

What Do You Really Think About One Hot Mama?

2009-05-18T11:19:00.001-07:00

Friends, Romans, Countrymen:

My husband and I have worked for over ten years to make One Hot Mama a place to turn expecting and new moms into happy hot mamas. The good news is that all our hard work is paying off – we’ve just been notified that we’re a contender in Pregnancy & Newborn magazine’s Readers’ Choice Awards for Best Online Maternity Shop. If you think that we're all that and a bag of chips (man, I really need to get out more -- my slang is so last century!), hop on over to Pregnancy & Newborn's site and let them know.

Here’s where you register -- http://www.pnmag.com/register.

They then send you a confirmation email. After that, log in and look for “Enter The Readers’ Choice Awards” under" Welcome, Your Name Here!" and head over to vote.

Don’t have a baby and need help in some categories? Either leave them blank, or ask a friend. Since I'm your friend, I'll suggest a couple faves of mine.

There are 23 categories, and ours is the 20th, by the way -- don't leave before you vote for One Hot Mama as best online maternity boutique!

Categories I have strong opinions about are:

Jogging Stroller -- BOB!!! (not just because it's my hubby's name -- they rock!)
Diaper Bag -- Kalencom (adorable and reasonably priced)
Baby Shoes -- I love Robeez
Breast Pump -- Avent is the best.
Maternity Top/Tee -- write in Maternal America – it’s fab!
Maternity Jeans -- we carry the Maternal America jean and it’s super hot
Maternity Must-Have -- we have the BellaBand and love it! A real budget stretcher
Online Maternity Shop -- hint, hint, here’s where One Hot Mama comes in

The polls are open until May 31st, but just like in real life, the earlier you vote, the better! Also like in real life, you're only supposed to vote once.

Some Horrible Fashion Advice For New Moms

2009-05-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm browsing the web this morning, and I see a cute article about how to do pregnancy chic -- cool, I'm all for helping women feel and look good. The author, Milly Smith, of course has a line of clothing, which is totally cute if you can spare over $300 for a dress. But here's the advice that had be seeing red:

DON’T OVERSHOP It’s important to be comfortable, and when I get home I
change into track pants and a T-shirt. After the birth you’ll be so sick of
wearing your maternity wardrobe that you’ll want to burn it.

Okay, maybe I'm not seething, but I do get annoyed that we are finally encouraged to be all maternal goddess-like when pregnant, but the minute you have the baby, shut up and stay home in sweats or pjs! We started One Hot Mama in no small part because of how invisible a new mom can feel, and dressing like the Invisible Woman is a sure way to be treated and feel like one.

Your maternity clothes are your friends in those first few months -- I wore my white maternity jeans for a full five months after my second baby was born, and they saved my life.

I had something to wear
I never forgot that I was donning temporary clothing
We (and others) have so many cute outfits that work while you're pregnant AND while you're nursing that you'll get your money's worth. Think about your non-preggo wardrobe -- don't you break out the same ten items over and over again?

Yes, take time to get to know your newborn and have a babymoon and nap when baby naps and all that, but at some point, you'll want to leave the house. When that happens, it's not a crime to not want to look like a mother! Just because you are one, doesn't mean you have to dress like yours! :)

My Maternity Retail Addiction

2009-05-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

Poor Bob. He's my husband, and I gotta say, as hard as it must be to be married to me, it's gotta be harder to be business partners with me.

After ten years, I'm still trying to restrain myself each buying season, but it gets harder and harder when the clothes are so yummy. Want to see? This is the stuff that arrived just this week, and there's more showing up every day. And I'm supposed to restrict myself to basics, like lots of other maternity sites? Blech! Boooring! Not gonna do it. Of course, this habit doesn't really endear me to dear Bob, but I'm hoping that when you see the hot maternity swimsuits, hip nursing tops and great shower dresses, you'll agree that they're worthy of parting with your hard-earned cash. And then I will be forgiven. :)

Hot Maternity Swimsuit Arrives

2009-05-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

Breaking News! Okay, maybe not stop-the-presses time, but this great tankini by Olian was featured in this month's Pregnancy & Newborn, and it just got to our store!

Order it here -- and I hope you had a Happy Mothers Day!

Extreme Birth Stories -- Extremely Lame

2009-05-08T07:22:00.000-07:00

It was some trepidation that I clicked on a link at abcnews.com this morning to the Top 7 Worst Ever Birth Stories. Actually, the title of the article was Extreme Birth Stories -- they are neither.

Read them, and it will remind you what doulas and mothers who have "survived" natural childbirth already know -- the only person that HAS to be at your baby's birth is you. Sure, I have no desire to push while swinging from a tree (that was a mom who was being hanged for witchcraft; in other words, she had lots to worry about, labouring being just one part of that!) but the article goes to great pains to repeatedly say, just because these women and babies all survived outside the hospital, that doesn't mean that you will!!

That's right, ladies, nothing to see here, move along, get your epidural and shut up!

One Hot Mama in Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine!!

2009-05-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

We love being recognized for the cool duds we have for mamas and mamas to be, and this month's issue of Pregnancy & Newborn noticed that we are all about maternity swim!!

In the pic to the left, we have the Olian Maternity swimsuits on the bottom right and left, but take a gander at the top Belabumbum nursing and maternity tankini -- we have that as well, in solid red and in solid black. Sexy.

And here's one of our fave maternity swim cover-ups, although I like it as a top over an Everyday Cami from Ingrid & Isabel -- and we've been able to lower the price! That's right, "in this economy!" it's now $30!

Thanks to the great photos and stylists at this mag -- be sure to pick up a copy, and then head over to One Hot Mama to shop. The blue tankini will be on our site soon.

What Someone Hates About Breastfeeding

2009-04-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

Great post!!

And so true --the loss of a dress can feel like the loss of femininity, at a time when you're doing the most womanly thing you can do. And no, that's not using your breasts to sell beer and cars.

It's why we are so into the hot part of mamahood. I remember all-too-well feeling invisible as a new mother, and I'm just shallow enough to know that looking good can help you feel good. On a 6-week bedrest with Cameron, I used my precious 10 minutes of vertical time a day to shower and put on something cute.

Here's what I said to the honest mom from Breastfeeding Moms Unite --

I have to say, I chuckled a little bit, remembering that feeling of not being able to wear a dress to the THREE weddings I had to go to with my one-year-old nursling. My whining actually caused my hubby to challenge me to start designing (I’m an actress by trade) and now we’ve had our mom-and-pop biz for almost 11 years. We have lots of hot dresses coming for spring, but let me tell you what I hate the most.

After lactating and gestating from 1996 to 2008 with only a 6-month break in there (and twins were the last nursers), I have gone from a 32DD to a 32Long. Now, I KNOW that the breakdown in breast tissue is actually due to the weight gain and loss of pregnancy, and I wouldn’t trade the convenience, bonding and greatness of nursing for anything. But my new boobies are, well, not as bountiful as nursing ones.

I have lots of hot mama customers say, “I can’t wait til they shrink!” — that was me as well. Be careful what you wish for!

Truly, though, the dress thing bugged me as well. We actually just gave away over 150 of them to Mothering readers, but we still have a little discount going for Mother’s Day. Check out http://www.onehotmama.com/mothering if you’re still craving a dress.

What A Week!!

2009-04-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

A week in the life of one hot mama:

Dog goes to ER and then to cardiologist,
At death's door but still here,
Camping with kids and poison oak,
Did a promo for Mothering Magazine readers
that gave away over 150 free nursing dresses!!!
Trying to get out the door to take kids to Disneyland with Grandma ...

I guess I should be easier on myself about posting. :)

That's the theme for the day for all of you ... you can only do so much!!

Enjoy the weekend.

What Susan Boyle Means to Moms (and Dads)

2009-04-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen it by now, you should. A frumpy, middle-aged woman enters Britain's You've Got Talent and claims to want to become a singing star.

I'll wait while you watch ...
...
...
...

Something, eh? Here's the first thing that struck me, before I read her story, or knew who she was or how she got there. She's got to be a mum.

Now, it turns out that she's not. She's a 47-year-old woman who's never been married or dated. But it was not a stretch to imagine that she'd kept that voice bottled up (no, not really, as she did sing at church) because she was busy with the kids and the house and a husband.

The reason so many of us (myself included, every time I watch it) weep openly at hearing that voice soar is because she is us. And the us who are artists or creative or policy wonks who then became mothers have all at some point said, "when do I get to soar?" For some, the answer is, "F- it -- my time is now! See ya later, kids!" Insert name of jet-setting celebrity with a coterie of nannies here.

But a great many more of us pack away our toe shoes and paint brushes and do the great, amazing, relentless, uplifting and wearying work of parenting. A lot of dads put away their ambitions to write, or race cars or play in a band, because of the duty and obligation of providing for their families. But one day, they won't need us 24/7. We'll be free to sign up for a singing competition.

And that is Susan Boyle's lesson for us -- it's never too late. The voice is still in there. The creative impulse still stirs. The stories still come to you in the middle of the night. Ply your craft however it can while your children still speak to you in public, and know that if Susan could wait 47 years to sing like an angel to the world, you can wait another decade or so.

Labor & Delivery

2009-04-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Another great Mamasource exchange:

Q: I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this. I was due yesterday and I started sporadic contractions as of late Tuesday night. Wednesday afternoon (about 4pm) they were pretty much every half hour and then all night last night they were every 15 minutes and pretty strong. I thought I would have had my baby by now but I went to Labor & delivery and since this morning about 9am they have totally slowed down. When I got checked this morning I was at 1 cm. I get a contraction maybe once an hour now. I am trying a VBAC but have a repeat c-section scheduled for tomorrow if nothing happens. Has anyone had the same experience? I just feel like I am not progressing anymore and with all the pain I felt last night, I don't want to go through hours of more pain. I am seriously considering going through with my c-section tomorrow morning if nothing happens tonight. I had a c-section with my 1st child since I was induced and never dialated passed 3 cm. Your thoughts are appreciated!!

A: Congrats on your son and soon-to-arrive daughter. My advice, such as it is, is obviously predicated on everything being fine with your baby in utero, with no signs of stress or reduced movement due to anything other than no darned room left to wiggle around! :)

First, a reminder that for all the advances of medical science, doctors still don't know what exactly causes a baby to be ready to be born. Due dates are actually suggestions, with a two week parameter before and after THE BIG DAY. So although you, your doc and the little wheel said you were due yesterday, your little pumpkin may not feel fully baked.

Now, on to the fun of a VBAC. Even though you have a C-section scheduled, there's nothing that says you can't unschedule it. Sure, your doc would really like an undisturbed Easter/Passover, and sure would you, but that early labour, although it seemed unproductive to you (only 1 cm -- but you were working so hard!!) you may now be fully effaced and baby may be more engaged. I suffered mightily through 12 hours (I counted every one) of labour with my son, during which I only got to 3 or so cm, and in retrospect, I should have kept my butt at home, swam or had a bath, danced or watched a movie -- done anything to ignore the contractions while giving them time to work. It's a bit of a paradox. You can't rush your labour -- and you want to help it along by walking or resting or whatever your body needs.

If you don't have a doula, just take it one contraction at a time. If you're tired and hurting right now, go to bed. You don't have to be awake for the times between the contractions. Maybe baby isn't wanting to be born until Monday (when there'll be a fuller staff at the hospital, by the way).

I have several friends who did VBACs and they were all glad to have had the experience. Labor can suck, because it is, after all, work! But you planned on going a different way with this birth, and you have to give yourself the gift of time to let it happen. Not gonna lie (4 kids -- three drug-free, last two twins) -- every single time I was in labour, I kept thinking, "this is ridiculous ... I can't do this ... what was I thinking? I don't want to get a baby out of my body right now ... let it/them stay in!" All that stuff is going through your head and it's noisy in there. :)

Whatever you do, you do. But you had a wish to labour and deliver. Be gentle with yourself -- and it does help reduce the perception of pain (and thusly, the pain) to say during each contraction, "this brings me one step closer to meeting my daughter" while simultaneously puffing out your belly and opening your mouth. Sounds wacky, but it works. Good luck!! REST!!

___________________
The uncertainty of how you'll react during labour is why I always advocate for a good doula. I was lucky enough to have the amazing Seannie Gibson for my last three babies, and her presence, while very much in the background, although very active when needed, enabled my husband to focus on what he could do, and me to let go and get the work done. If you're looking for a doula, start here. And what's the most important thing to do during your birthing experience? Experience it. That means, turn off the playoffs in the L&D room and focus on your partner and your baby (or babies, as the case may be). It's a miracle, every time. With an epidural, during a c-section, or under a tree in the middle of a forest. Pay attention to that.

A Prayer For Mothers

2009-04-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

A friend posted this on her blog, and I have to say, it's really a prayer for the Capable, but, by definition, that means Moms! :) The genius who posted this is my friend Samantha Bennett, from the Organized Artist Company. She's amazing, and so is this -- enjoy!

A Prayer For The Capable

And as you stand there
On time and
Appropriately clad for the event
With a high-fiber bar in your bag
And extra pens
Let us take this moment to applaud you.

You, the prepared.
You, the accomplished.
You, the bills-paid-on-time and the-taxes-done-in-March.
You, the one who always returns the shopping cart.
While the moody, the irresponsible, the near-hysterical and the rude seem to get
All the attention
Let us now praise you.

Just because everyone always expects you
To do well
Does not make it any less remarkable
That you always do so well.

So thank you.

For picking up the slack
For not imposing
For being so kind
And mannerly
And attending to all those pesky details.

Thank you for your consideration
Your generosity
For always remembering and never forgetting:

That a job well done is its own reward
That the opportunity to help someone else is a gift
That the complainers, the cry-babies, the drama queens, the never-use-a-turn-signals, the forgetful, the self-involved, the choleric, the phlegmatic and the your-rules-don't-apply-to-me-types
Would look pretty silly if they didn't have your calm stability with which to contrast themselves.

So take a minute
To pat yourself on the back
And say, "Job well done."

And as you consider someday
Showing up stoned
Or unprepared
Or not at all

And as you imagine someday being imperious
Or demanding
Or the one with the temper

Hear the unspoken "thank you" from a
Grateful nation that is a
Better, smarter, calmer, easier, friendlier and more organized place
Thanks to you
And your dogged diligence.

You are beautiful.
You are precious to us.
You are the oil on the water, the wheel that never squeaks, the one we all rely on
And while you probably would have remembered to send a thank-you note,
We forgot.

And just because everyone always expects you
To do well
Does not make it any less remarkable
That you always do so well.

And I would tell you to take the afternoon for yourself
Or sleep in tomorrow
But I'm pretty sure you already have plans.

So just take this very moment right now
To appreciate you
And all that you have done and done well
Even by your own high standards.
And remember:
You are beautiful.

And just because everyone always expects you to Do well
Does not make it any less amazing, delightful or delicious that
You always do so well.

Glamourmom & Other Hip Nursingwear News

2009-04-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, we've been crazy busy at One Hot Mama lately. And of course, this rush at work coincides with, wait for it ... Spring Break! But now that the older two are 11 and 8, we were actually able to have them help out for a couple hours yesterday. Woo-hoo! Too bad they already knew about child labor laws and demanded breaks and payment.

So here's a smattering of the new stuff that's come in. There's so much, we can't keep up with posting it, so if you're in the LA area and looking for something to wear at any point in your Mommy adventures, stop by. My fave compliment came from a customer last week who said that we were like a magic closet for a nursing mama. I remember the feeling of revelation the first time I went to the original Pump Station in Santa Monica -- "what, they make pretty clothes that I can nurse in?! Sign me up!" I send people who need breastfeeding support and baby stuff to them (there's a Hollywood location as well) all the time because they're the best at nurturing new moms. We're here to offer the largest selection of fashionable nursing and maternity wear in Los Angeles, and we're the best at making you One Hot Mama.

We're getting so much new stuff that we're bursting at the seams! Some of you know about my love-hate relationship with Glamourmom -- love the versatility, the layering, the ease, but hate the goofy circle cut-outs for your boobies. Hey, you can't have it all. :) I just added a ton of new colour options to our line, so now we have their fab nursing tanks in twenty colours and styles!! So much for not liking their stuff initially -- if I was having a baby tomorrow, I would grab four of five of these tanks and live in them. They really do ease nursing in public and answer the question of what to wear in that fourth trimester.

Coming later this week, great tops from I Love Mom and fab dresses from Fierce Mamas!

Wierd Breastfeeding Question -- Or Maybe, Not So Uncommon

2009-04-02T07:59:00.000-07:00

Q: Hi! I am a Norwegian mom and i was browsing the net for some information regarding lactation. Well to tell u in short, I leak milk when doing sex with my partner. Is there any way to stop it? Whenever i feel aroused it just squirts out. And also i have a confession to make -- i dont know how other moms think of it but i always get sexually excited when nursing the baby. Is it normal for moms to feel that way? Please advice soon.
Amanda, Norway

A: Dear Amanda,
Okay, this is a good one. This question points up one of the things that freaks us puritanical Americans out regarding breastfeeding, and that is, if it feels that kinda good, shouldn't it be done with your husband? (We'll address the leaking issue in a minute.)

In fact, I'm not entirely sure your letter is from a real mother and not some devotee of Jerry Springer's episode on lactating strippers. But I'll answer, because I think a lot of moms (and moms to be) have the same question, if not the same feelings.

Breastfeeding, the actual act of one's milk ducts being compressed in order to produce food for one's offspring (gee, hon, it sounds sooo sexy when *you* say it), should feel good, so that we do it. In other words, when it makes you scream in pain, you're likely to toss that newborn away if you're foraging in the bush and there are no formula marketeers in your hunter/gatherer group. It feels especially good for most moms because of their release of oxytocin, which used to give me, nursing my first baby, a buzz not unlike that first wonderful glass of a full-bodied red wine (which you should limit if you're a nursing mama, or learn to pump and dump).

After a decade of nursing (not the same child! Four of them, silly!), I was such an oxytocin junkie that I didn't notice when it was there, only when it was not. When my firstborn cut back from nursing all the time to hardly at all, I got a little weepy. As for the physical, just like in sex, some people feel every feeling quite intensely, others hardly at all. The erogenous zones are, like our faces and personalities, unique. So some women do feel stimulated, while I, for example, feel, well, nothing. (Perhaps I should speak to my doctor). Here's what my favourite breastfeeding expert, author Janet Tamaro (click here to get her book, So That's What They're For) has to say about having, say, an orgasm while nursing: "Don't panic ... Your brain has just secreted a hormone that is telling your body to feel good. This does not make you a child molester, and it doesn't make breastfeeding immoral. ... It's not that likely, so try not to worry about it or let it stand in the way of a comfortable breastfeeding relationship with your baby."

In other words, take that good feeling, and use it on your partner. From your letter, it doesn't sound like you're turned on by your baby, only by nursing. After baby goes to sleep, you can share the wealth with hubby. Which comes to the other part of your question. If you nurse or pump before you have sex, that could help stop the leakage. So could pressing your arms against your breasts when you start to feel letdown. Or you could just go with the flow and have sex in the shower and swimming pool or on a towel to deal with the extra.

You're perfectly normal. (Which may be the only answer you were looking for.) Albeit blessed with quite an abundance of milk. Contact a milk bank and see if you'd be a good donor!

Hope I was helpful!

When Breastfeeding is Tough

2009-03-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

When is it not? Okay, that's not true. Sometimes it does, as it did with my firstborn, who latched on right after birth and never stopped for two years. (Yup, woke up every two hours at night for the first year -- that was not fun!)

But I saw a question on Mamasource that I answered the other day, and thought I would share it, and my answer, with you. The biggest takeaway for anyone pregnant right now should be how important it is to (a) educate yourself on how breastfeeding works, both mechanically and intellectually, and (b) to line up a supportive team before delivering your baby. If you don't have a doula for your birth, visit a few lactation consultants or attend your local La Leche League meeting around the 7th month so you'll be calling a familiar face if you need help.

So here's the all-too common dilemma -- I really wish that all doctors had the time (or a person in their office with the time) to help mamas with nursing. Those early days are the hardest, but once they pass, life is good.

Q: My daughter is 10 days old and I have been wanting to bf soo bad. (I tried with my son 5 years ago and I was never able to provide enough milk) I had a c/s and it took 6 days for any trace of any milk to come in. She wasnt gaining weight so we were told to supp formula until my milk came in. She seems hungry ALL the time. I will nurse on each side ( i hear some swallowing) and then she is still hungry and will suck down 3 oz of formula. We ran out and bought the Medela PSI pump as advised by our LC (who really hasnt been much help), I tried it today after lunch and literally got less than a tablespoon out of BOTH sides combined!!! No wonder she is loosing weight, poor thing is starving! I have been taking Fenugreek, 4/3x a day, but obviously that isnt helping either. I am soo frustrated and now depressed that I can't feed my baby. Please help!!!

A: Ohh, Cathy, I totally understand your frustration. But that tension is not doing you any favors. So, although the worst thing to hear right now is the word relax, that's step one. (Unless you had breast reduction surgery that cut or removed your milk ducts in the past; in that case, you have an actual physical impediment to breastfeeding.) That done, back to "relaxing" -- I have four kids, all of whom I breastfed, including twins. Breastmilk is totally a supply-and-demand operation, so the more you put your baby to the breast, the more milk your body will make. But the supply lags slightly behind the demand, just fyi. My second baby was not latching correctly, and apparently was just chewing on my nipples for the better part of her first ten days of life -- I had no idea, even as a veteran nurser, that what looked like efficient nursing was not getting any milk to her.

So, if that awful LC checked your baby's latch and said it was good, let's move on. If not, or if it hurts your breast when you nurse, fix that first. (I'll tell you how to contact me, or call your La Leche League warmline).

Get into bed and stay there with your baby on your Boppy or other nursing pillow in front of you or next to you if you are lying on your side. Whenever she makes a noise or appears to root or purses her lips, put her to your breast. And keep her on that one breast. Why? Because the first part of nursing action from her produces foremilk, which is like skim, and after letdown, the good high fat stuff arrives. Pretty cool.

Also, please don't be freaked out by what you get from breast pump. Your baby is less than 2 weeks old, for goodness sakes!! :) The pump is for priming your production -- the more your breasts are stimulated, the more milk your baby will get. Remember, nothing is as efficient at getting milk than your baby. The fact that you got something out of your first session is awesome! That stuff is liquid gold. The next step is to not supplement, it starts a vicious cycle where she suckles less, so your body makes less, so she gets more formula, and voila, your milk has "dried up".

Now, how do you tell that your baby is getting enough milk and you're not starving her? Good question -- you count her wet diapers. If you're using disposables, put a square of toilet tissue in at each diaper change so you can notice if it's wet.

And Cathy, stop pressuring yourself. It's like trying to yell at yourself to produce an orgasm. Not effective at all. The active relaxation you CAN do is to say to yourself, "my body is perfect and knows how to feed my baby. I see milk flowing from my body to hers. I see her pink and fat and healthy" -- sounds goofy but it's a big help.

My last suggestion is to give me a call if you need to hear a friendly voice. I have a store, One Hot Mama, in Studio City and I'll be there today from noon to whenever my husband can't deal with the kids any more. When that happens, my mom covers the store, and you can give her your number and I'll call you right back. You're the best mother for your child -- remember that, and know that how you feed her is no reflection of your love. I admire that you're trying to give her the healthiest food you can -- just be easy on yourself.

We Work Hard So You Don't Have To

2009-03-20T11:33:00.001-07:00

I'm off to the Fall Markets (but it's not even really Spring, yet!) AND the Mom2B tradeshow right now to scour the trends for hot stuff for all you hot nursing and pregnant (and about-to-be-pregnant) mamas.

This is the best, and the most dangerous, part of my job. Best because technology and design and creativity are in full bloom in the world of mama fashion, and it's always like Christmas shopping to choose what will make you look and feel your best. Why dangerous? Because it makes pregnancy look SO GOOD!

Now, having given birth to four children in the past ten years, and having nursed them for what seemed like that entire decade, you'd think that having a big belly and a new baby (not necessarily in that order) would be the last thing I'd find attractive. Nope. Toddlers scare me (and, because God wants you to face your fears, that's apparently why I have two of them at this very moment.) But the full bloom of pregnancy in a fab maternity wardrobe does have its appeal.

The fall tradeshow was where I met the fabulous Caden sisters, inventors of The Belly Bandit, and got to visit with the girls from Ingrid & Isabel, and reunite with the maker of Hotslings, who was partly inspired to start her business by little 'ol me. Pretty cool stuff. Because a lot of the companies are mama-and-papa driven. I couldn't do this without Bob, and it's great that there are lots of other cool papas out there doing the same thing.

I'll report back next week with news of clothes I hopefully won't need! :)

Have a great weekend!

(PS -- If you're a new mom reading this and berating yourself for not having invented something or started a company between nursing sessions -- stop. Back away from the self-flaggelation. You can't do everything all at once.)

Breastfeeding, Your Mummy Tummy & The Belly Bandit

2009-03-16T21:13:00.000-07:00

So I had a very nice conversation the other day with a new mom of twins, who wanted to know why her belly was still -- well -- ample, five months after birth. She was looking into buying the Belly Bandit, which is marketed as a postpartum support and tummy cincher, but they don't claim you have to use it the very day you give birth (hey, I give it a whirl occasionally and my youngest girls will be four in less than a month -- oops, better plan a party!).

Where was I? This momnesia can be a bear ... oh, yeah. I told the very sweet caller to be gentle on herself, and that she should remember it's 9 months up and 9 months down, and that she had given her twins the gift of a long gestation and high birthweight, which takes a bit of poundage on mom's part (boy, do I remember that!). Then I had a thought, and asked if she had nursed her babies.

She hadn't. Which, of course, is every mother's choice. But in all the yada yada yada about how great it is for the baby (which it is) and how many IQ points it gives them (it does) and how it's a real money saver (oh, boy, is it ever!), it's easy to miss what I like to call:

Breastfeeding Benefits for Selfish Chicks:

Right away, as in, the first time you nurse after birth, before you're even in your over-priced "good room," breastfeeding makes your uterus shrink! Seriously -- you can actually feel it contract, and it's not comfy. But getting that duffle-bag sized womb back into its travel case (that's how I picture it -- like a raincoat that folds into its own pocket) is the first step toward Getting Your Body Back.

Did I mention it's free? So you can take all the money you would have spent on bottles and sterilizers on some cool duds for yourself, maybe even on a pair of wicked cute and comfy shoes.

Your breasts will look fabulous. You might not want anyone to touch 'em, but they'll be full. That's a good thing.

I could go on, but bedtime for my four has come and gone and two of them are still wondering the halls. That's the benefit I still miss -- I was able to be my lazy self and get them to sleep with nary a second thought. Now, parenting takes actual thought. :)

I'll leave you with my favourite, easiest trick for hiding a mummy tummy after having a baby -- wear your baby! Slings make nursing easier, and camouflage that extra skin!

Check out the Belly Bandit on Good Day LA in the am, and as always, tell me what you think!

How Cute is This?

2009-03-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

The Peek A Boo Tunic

I am sorely tempted to add this to my closet, though my poor hubby is already wary of my need to have clothes that are made for carrying and nursing babies, since we're all full up with the four.

Seriously, if I win the HGTV Dream Home on Sunday, I'll have another baby AND get this great tunic. A win-win, as they say. :)

You who are already preggers or nursing, however, need no such prodding. $78. Two colour combos. Check it out!

You Never Know When It's Going to End ...

2009-03-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm a little sensitive today (still getting used to having my period after a decade -- ! -- ) of no menstrual ups and downs thanks to pregnancy and nursing. But I burst into tears reading a journal entry from a mom of five. Don't think I could find the link again -- I was chasing information about colonial costumes down the various rabbit holes of the web, and ended up at this sweet family site by a homeschooling, religious farm woman. One might think we wouldn't have a lot in common, so wittily urbane am I. :)

Her children are pretty spread out (unlike me, she didn't wait until her thirties to start) so she has a couple teenagers. And what she said that had me sniveling like a baby was, "I wish they would tell you when something is happening for the last time."

She was reminiscing about her now-twelve-year-old boy, and realizing that at some point last summer, he had been draped over her lap reading a story, and hadn't been in her lap since. If she had only known, she would have hugged him a little tighter back then. And that made me think of all the people I've seen lately wanting their kids into their cribs at two months or four months and how they were adamantly not going to ever let them into their beds. And that made me remember hearing a radio host, Dennis Prager, once proclaim what a gift it was to share sleep with your child.

Granted, some of us have to contend with pretty annoying side effects, like an elbow to the nose or a kick to the groin while you're in REM sleep, but I can tell, like all things, that this too will pass. The majority of American parents actually have their kids get into their beds at some point during the night -- with my babies, they just started out there. Would I do anything differently? Sure -- I would have had an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper with our first child -- a great in-between compromise, and well worth the money.

But would I give away a single night of snuggling with our precious kids (who look and seem more precious when they are, in fact, asleep)? No. Will I be wistful when I look back and realize that they'll never make me sleep like a pretzel again? Yeah, a little bit.

But that's what worked for our family. You have to do what's best for yours. And because God has a sense of humour, each child will be different!

Rachel Ray -- The Belly Bandit Works!!

2009-03-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

Woo-hoo!

Here's the link to the video clip from Rachel Ray's show where a mom tests the Belly Bandit and comes back with good news!

See earlier posts in this very blog about getting your body back and more, and when you want to know where to buy your Belly Bandit, come to One Hot Mama online or visit our store in the Los Angeles area. (Okay, it's Studio City, California, but we have a name-recognition problem!).

Hope you're having a great day.

Remember, your body carried a baby, birthed a baby, and fed a baby. That's one hot body!

One Hot Mama is on Hannah Montana tonight!

2009-03-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

So we have much more news next week about media appearances, but in the meantime, your tween might be thrilled to find that you "know" the mom on the Welcome to the Bungle episode that airs tonight!

Yes, in between running the site and driving four kiddies around, I occassionally get to work as an actress. Keeps our family in health insurance, AND I couldn't do it without dh, Bob the Amazing Webmaster and World's Best Daddy!

More on Nursing In Public

2009-02-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

Crazy week. You people LOVE that Belly Bandit, don't you? It's all Bob and I can do to ship those puppies out and keep them in stock.

But I've been watching the comments on my previous post with interest, and thought the best thing to do would be to clarify my personal, not-at-all-humble opinion on the matter.

Here goes:

Yes, it’s a sin that American culture is so uptight that you’ll be asked to leave a room while breastfeeding, but you’ll never be asked to leave that same establishment if you hit your child. Go figure. Someone else, somewhere else, said the most helpful thing you can do to advocate breastfeeding is simply to nurse everywhere. I do. And I mean, everywhere. I pride myself on the fact that even friends who tought I was a freak for nursing a toddler (or, heavens forbit, nursing twins!) comment on how they’re never visually offended (thanks … I think).

While brings us to Style Tip Number One: Never, ever let them see your nip. Breasts are beautiful. And a nursing breast is doing what nature and God intended. But you’ll be doing a huge service to American babies (who are breastfeed less than almost any other industrialized nation’s babies, even though it’s the best thing for them) if you can nurse in public without showing the dreaded areola. Remember the Seinfeld where Elaine loved her sexy Christmas card picture and its attendant cleavage — until it was revealed her nipple was revealed? Same principle applies here. How can you do this? Keep reading.
Dress for nursing. Seems a simple enough concept, but even I was caught having to half take off a dress at Cameron’s first pediatrician visit in order to feed him (a good doctor, like mine, will want to see that baby is nursing properly).
Don’t do a striptease. People are confused enough about the sexualized nature of breasts without seeing you slowly (quickly?) unbuttoning your suit to access the desperately needed milk.
Pull up, not down. If you lift your shirt, baby’s body and head should cover your lower half, and your raised shirt should mostly cover his head and top half of your breast. Opening a shirt or dress from the top just leaves you exposed. My personal rule is, if your breast is bigger than baby’s head (mine was for a long time) never leave it hanging.
Turn your back for the tough part. Latching on, especially in the beginning, can take a minute, so turn away until everything’s working (but not in shame, you’re feeding your child, for God’s sake) and rejoin the conversation.
Maintain eye contact. Once you’ve gotten a lot of practice, you can reach under, unsnap the bra, latch on and keep talking without a break. A lot of people, having never seen a nursing baby, won’t even realize what you’re doing.
Practice makes perfect in baseball, piano, and public nursing. When baby isn’t screaming at the top of his lungs, and you’re at home alone, see if you can be the Quick Draw McGraw of breasts. Go to a La Leche League meeting, and check out other mothers’ nursing styles. (You can even do this before your baby is born)
Ask for help. As in all things mother-related, someone somewhere has been there before you. It’s a pretty good bet that a woman with a baby or toddler in a sling is or has nursed. Say hello and ask for advice. Even in the mall. You’re not meant to do this alone.
Did I mention a sling? It’s a godsend. If you have an Over The Shoulder Baby Holder, it’s got enough fabric that you can lift the extra up to cover baby’s head. Another fave, created by Dr. Sears' family, is the Balboa Baby Sling. We also have the Ultimate Baby Wrap, which has 5 different positions to try.
If you’re out, pop in the boob at the first sign of hunger from your newborn. Public nursing isn’t discreet at all when the recipient is wailing like you’re flaying him alive.

Remember, you’re doing something natural, incredible, miraculous and necessary. Even if you can’t quite get the discreet part down, anyone who looks at a nursing baby and thinks "that’s obscene" is themselves obscene. I once went to the bathroom in a restaurant and bumped (literally) into a woman standing in the 4 x 6 space nursing her infant. When I asked why, she replied that she was having dinner with her in-laws and they were uncomfortable with her nursing. Clearly, they had no problem with their three-week-old grandchild having his dinner in a cramped, dirty john. Don’t let that be you. Let the other people leave the table.

Happy nursing! Any tips I’ve left out? Something that worked for you? Think we should go hide in an all-women nursing room? Do let me know!

How NOT to Nurse In Public

2009-02-17T09:35:00.000-08:00

Had a fabulous time at Baby Loves Disco this Saturday in the happening Cinespace in Hollywood. So many adorable kids and mommies, I was very proud of you all. Everyone looked great and was having fun -- which, come to think of it, kinda go together, don't they? If you've never gone, well, you just have to. Way more fun than the zoo (not again!).

So what could I possibly have to gripe about?

I noticed a disturbing trend -- several hot mamas nursing their babies UNDER goofy, attention-grabbing aprons, for lack of a better word! Oh, I know what they're called. I get approached to carry them in our happening store all the time. And I even know some of the well-meaning mamas and designers who truly think they're offering a service by making these nursing cover-ups.

But you're fooling no-one when your baby disappears under a graphic tablecloth that leaves you looking like you accidentally left the table with it tucked under your chin. You might as well get a neon sign that says, "Bare boobies -- right under this fabric!" I know, I shouldn't get all worked up. But the joy of nursing was (for me, at least) that it required no forethought or special tools. Other than remembering not to wear a dress that zippers in the back when you leave the house with your baby, you're set. So why spend $35 on something that makes nursing more trouble and less discreet? Here's a tip -- if you have a couple of spare twenties, toss them at a Glamourmom nursing tank you can wear under everything.

I don't bitch without providing an alternative, however. These Rules of the Road for public nursing are all you need to get out and about with baby and boobs in tow. Nowhere does it mention putting on some sort of sack and hiding your baby under it. It doesn't even mention buying fab-looking nursing clothes, although that's how we actually make money to feed our family now that everyone's weaned. Seriously, those are a great help, but with practice, any top that lifts up can keep your ta-tas private without wearing a body burkha.

Nursing should equal freedom. To borrow from someone else's ad campaign, you are now free to move about the country. Do it without the lame bag over your breasts. :)

See One Hot Mama at Baby Loves Disco (LA)

2009-02-10T12:52:00.000-08:00

Hey, what are you doing for Valentine's Day now that you're a family? Spending a bundle on a sitter to have an overpriced meal? How about twisting the day away with your little one?

Check out Baby Loves Disco -- wherever you are, it's bunches of fun. But this weekend, we'll be there with OHM tattoos and giveaways for hot mamas who like to dance. If you go to the Los Angeles page, you'll see our baby Georgia as Disco Baby of the Month -- until they change it. Of course, she's been baby of the month for a couple years, so I think we're safe!

(That's Saturday, February 14th for those of us with momnesia!) :)

Interesting ...

2009-02-08T10:20:00.001-08:00

Thought y'all might like to see some vintage Sesame Street -- it's about breastfeeding! :)

The Worst Advice From A Doctor to A Pregnant Woman, Evah!

2009-02-08T10:01:00.000-08:00

A really sweet mama-to-be came into the store this week. It was hotter than heck outside, so she was in shorts and a tee, and didn't look at all pregnant. Turns out she was just about five months along with her first baby, and she was in One Hot Mama because her doctor had said,

"If you don't wear maternity clothes, it will be bad for the baby."

Now, my four kids and husband and I would love people to feel compelled to shop at One Hot Mama, but what the hell? Has this doctor not heard of amniotic fluid? Or high schoolers who give birth to healthy babies in the restroom at the prom? I mean, it was bad enough when someone told me last week that a saleswoman at a nationally-known, very pricey maternity store had exlaimed,

"If you don't wear maternity clothes, you'll get stretch marks!"

while trying to get her to buy a pair of $200 jeans, but what was this medical doctor thinking?

The point of this rant is to remind you mamas to be that not everything your doctor says is gospel. Sometimes it's obviously stupid, like the quote above, but something like, "you'll need a Caesarean because you're so tiny" is less obviously complete, non-medically based idiocy.

Read. Educate yourself. Read some more. Go to a certified, well-respected prenatal yoga class. Talk to midwives and doulas. And always remember the best follow-up question -- "why?"

Why Moms Shouldn't Work Outside The Home

2009-02-03T22:44:00.001-08:00

Okay, the truth is, I am just thinking and writing about myself, here. But I'm being honest; most of the articles and opinions we read about the work-vs.-home divide are also written from the point of view and personal experience of the writer. You can pretty much guarantee that they will present arguments and evidence from the side of the divide they live on.

Not me. I'm back at our family's business full bore these days, and I have now forgotten to pick up some of my children twice. The good news is that it was the twins on Friday, and my other daughter today. So far, that's not enough damage to give anyone a complex, but it is sure a reminder that the kind of work that requires sustained concentration and thought and physical presence and performance for one's boss or customers as the case may be, is not entirely compatible with thinking about one's kidlets.

I could never understand how a person could leave a baby to bake in a car all day, for example. But now, scarily, I see how it could happen. When you are (read: I am) consumed with all the details that your high-intensity job entails, your (read: my) mind just doesn't have room for pesky details like clocks and pickups.

So things that were always second nature to me -- pick up children, get food, make sure house is not a hovel -- are now being entered into Outlook with little reminder bells. My kids are old enough that they will call me when they're neglected -- and that's cold comfort.

Just so you have a little perspective, I have always multi-tasked with the best of 'em. Acting (yes, with actual lines for actual money), helping some with our business, volunteering at school, menu planning for nightly family dinners and being team mom for my son. But this 110% effort to grow a real business in, as people are wont to say, "this economy," is crowding out some really important stuff. The best way for me to work this way would be for my husband to be at home, but he's at work with me, for right now. Time for a new strategy.

Or maybe the headline is that Moms Shouldn't Work Outside The Home If They Suck At It Unless They Are Being Paid Mountains of Cash To Pay For A Nanny Who Drives. But I couldn't get that to fit!

One Thing That Sucks About Becoming a Mom

2009-01-31T14:27:00.001-08:00

I was talking with a new mom friend the other day a memory hit me like a ton of bricks -- one of the wierdest adjustments I had to make with my first baby was that I was penniless!

Not literally, of course. I was married, we had money for food and our mortgage and I was nursing (nonstop, it seemed) and I was a pretty steadily working actress. But the feeling of panic I felt when I realised that I was not working at that precise moment was very real. I think Cameron was about 9 weeks old at the time, and, funnily enough, I had worked a week on a sitcom (The Smart Guy!) at 6 weeks postpartum.

But the overwhelming feeling I had was that I would never be free to earn as much money as I previously had, again. In a way, I was right. But by becoming a mother, you (hopefully) have first decided to do so with a mate, a mate who will be there for you and support the new family. This didn't, however, assuage my feelings of dread about having to ask for money to get a magazine or a new top. And my friend felt the same, though she has a husband working at a quite lucrative job.

Of course, now that the economy's gotten a tad shaky, and all the news is about the Great Despression, it feels like the world's agreeing that you shouldn't buy yourself a new shirt. But if you aren't being foreclosed on, remember that nursing for a year will save the average family over $1,600. And your baby, once he has his car seat and some onesies and diapers, doesn't really need anything else. So if you (collectively) can swing the price of something useful and pretty, it's okay to get it for yourself.

I'm only partly saying this to make it okay for you to buy a new Japanese Weekend nursing and maternity vest top at One Hot Mama -- :) -- I also want you to feel okay about tossing a magazine into the cart at the grocery store. A mom contributes more than dollars to her family. Thanks for all you do -- and will do in the future.

What Would You Do?

2009-01-27T16:29:00.000-08:00

I received the following letter from a customer, and I want to know what you think One Hot Mama should do -- continue to accept our little cache of free American Baby magazines or not? FYI, I will try to get something from Mothering for our hot mamas!

I recently ordered a nursing tank from your store. The tank is great, but the magazine (American Baby) you included was quite offensive. While the magazine contains a pretty good article on breastfeeding, the magazine is littered with formula and bottle advertisements. I was greeted with a huge two-page formula commercial spread (pages 2 and 3). I'm very saddened that you may have sent this magazine to other pregnant women or moms, especially when women are bombared with formula and bottle advertisement constantly and receive little, if any encouragement to breastfeed. Even the magazine's birth information is demeaning to a woman and her birth experience. As an example, the magazine's definition of an episiotomy: "Howto say this without scaring you? Sometimes even 10 centimeters is not enough, and the doctor, um, makes a little cut to help the baby through. You'll be too out of it to care." I assumed from your large selection of nursing clothing that you support breastfeeding. If so, please stop giving out free magazines that completely undermine breastfeeding. The formula companies have enough money to do that on their own.
Thanks, A Concerned Customer

Dear CC:

Your letter made me feel slightly ill!!

Let me explain – I so get your well-made points and I am distressed that American Baby is parrotting all that old misinformation. I years ago stopped reading Parenting and Parents, and, if you check our front page (http://www.onehotmama.com/index.asp) you’ll see that we provide a very prominent link to Mothering, which I think should be required reading for every pregnant woman. I hadn’t read AB or Baby Talk in ages, as my youngest are 3 ½ years old and it’s really time I stopped having babies, and all those adorable pix melt my weak resolve.

I have four kids, and nursed the first two for around 2 years each, and my subsequent twins for three (it’s really tricky to wean two toddlers!). I would like nothing more than to gift my customers with copies of Mothering, and while your letter has reminded me to dash a hopeful note off to Peggy O’Mara [their editor], the fact is that a parenting magazine that does not get the bulk of its ad money from formula companies (whose only expenses other than marketing are for curds and whey, apparently) doesn’t have the budget to dole out extra copies. They did used to have postcards good for a free issue, however, so I’ll see what’s happened to that program.

We receive around 30 copies of the magazine every month and put them in less than 5% of our outgoing orders. It’s my understanding that the publishers send extras to doctors offices and stores all around the country. Even my pediatrician, the amazingly dedicated-to-breastfeeding-support Paul Fleiss, has free copies of Baby Talk in his waiting room. I get your point that we should be completely divorced from such mags, but the fact is that they not only have HUGE circulations, but that, sadly, they are reflecting what the majority of American women hear from doctors and friends and television. My hope is that all the writing that’s on our site, on my blog, and our appearances on television (the only naturally-birthed, breastfed, cloth-diapered twins on TLC!) will counteract that mainstream crap (excuse my language, but it is!).

In the meantime, our husband-and-wife business does support those four kids in Southern California, so we have branched out to maternity wear for women who are like me before I became a mother, who have no clue there’s an alternative. Perhaps they’ll like our clothes, be intrigued by our message, and slowly realize that formula is like a prosthetic leg – great if we need one, but no-one’s first choice. If you need further proof of our bona fides, check out the Baby Bargains book, where they said something about us having a great site, “if you could ignore their lecturing about breastfeeding.” There’s a badge of honour I’ll proudly wear! They are drawn in by mainstream magazines, and then hear our message.

Thanks for speaking your mind. I welcome dialogue with our mamas, and in fact will post this exchange on my blog (omitting your name, of course) because it’s important to remember that all we read is not right or helpful. If you have any questions, please email or call.

Love The One You're With, Baby

2009-01-24T12:46:00.000-08:00

I just had to write this quick thought after a visit from R., my new neighbor at the One Hot Mama store. She's adorable, short (like me) and a tad busty (unlike me, post-kids). She came in to talk about clothes and try stuff on and was bemoaning her lovely tatas.

Here's my revelation -- love the body you have RIGHT NOW, instead of thinking how great you'd look as Gwyeth Paltrow or Delta Burke. Guess what they do? They DRESS the bodies they have, instead of the ones they wish they had. And when they stray, like that unfortunate baby pink Ralph Lauren Oscar dress that Miss G. sported and looked for all the world like a boobless wonder? We attack.

So if you never had boobies and now you do, or vice versa, stop bitching and find out what looks good on them or show off your shoulders asap. To do this right, go right now to the library or to your local bookstore or to Amazon and get What Not To Wear -- by the English goddesses, Trinny and Susannah (and don't watch or read anything their American counterparts say).

Take stock of what you have and work with it -- you'll be amazed and happy.

How Do I Get My Body Back After Baby?

2009-01-22T08:27:00.000-08:00

Ah, good question, if a little flawed. See, your first mistake is thinking of it as "your" body. Nothing is, technicallly, yours any longer. (Watch toddlers at work and know that this is true.)

But here's the good news -- you can have a great body after having a baby! It just might not be the body you had before. Babycenter's survey about how women feel about their postpartum bodies is definitely interesting, but it misses a few key points.

Two days postpartum is way different than two months than two years. Of course you feel icky about the gelatinous belly hanging down, all empty after birth. But, expecting your old body back right away is insane. If not understandable. So breastfeed and notice those contractions that are reducing the size of your uterus each time you feed -- yay!
My favourite advice is from Vicki Iovine -- 9 months up, 9 months down. So relax. But relax vigilantly. :) Do not, however, own or buy or have a scale. No point.
My personal observation (but I live in Southern California, so people here may be genetically different) is that most moms are around the size they were pre-children, but any unwanted weight gets blamed on the kids. That's no fair, to baby or to you. Seriously, age and other factors (hello, menopause!) are all to blame for metabolism and shape shifting, but saddling our kids with it is a little too easy.
Most people eventually get back to around their basic pre-baby size (and hey, this is coming from someone who wore her fave maternity jeans for five months after the birth of her second child) for the simple reason that that's where the bulk of their wardrobe is. Which is reason #954 to buy maternity clothes, and not just bigger and bigger regular clothes. Knowing that the pants you're wearing are meant for people whose uterus is the size of a duffle bag will give you pause in a way that size 12s vs. 8s won't.
Don't eat kid food. A lot of moms I know put on weight when their babies become toddlers -- Mac n Cheese, Chicken Nuggest, Pizza are great in moderation, but it isn't moderate when you eat your share and then clean their plates. I am blessed with an allergy to wheat. Pretend you have one.
If you need to be seen in public with your week-old-baby and you feel flabby, grab a pair of Spanx and/or a Belly Bandit. I happily wore a corset after I had the twins (the Belly Bandit had not yet been invented to pull in postpartum tummies, so I went with what was available.) Note the belly-reducing properties of good posture.

When all else fails, rejoice that the body you have today made a baby, birthed a baby, and fed a baby. In my book, that's one hot body! (And, if you ask your hubby, he would agree.)

Breastfeeding Twins Q & A

2009-01-17T09:08:00.000-08:00

Dear OHM:

I just recently saw your episode on Bringing home baby and I noticed your wife [that's me!] had a very large nursing pillow, it was gray [actually chambray blue]. I was wondering if your company sold that pillow or if you have something like it. I am pregnant with twins and will be induced on Monday because I will be 39 weeks and I plan to breastfeed so that pillow looks to be a great help!

Please let me know,

S

Dear S:

Good luck to you!! My doctor wanted to induce on the Monday I was turning 39 weeks as well. I went home and meditated and told the babies that they needed to be ready to be born now, and that they should be both head down, back to belly and easy out! I did all the fun things that stimulate contractions, and on Monday at my doctor’s appointment, he said I was at 4 and could head to the hospital!

The pillow I used can be found here -- http://www.doubleblessings.com/servlet/Detail?no=280. We don’t carry it, but I loved it (although not in the goofy print.) Be sure to ask the lactation consultant at your hospital to hang around to help you with two babies. One of mine had a poor latch, but one of the good things about twins is that the other one stimulated let down for her. I also fed on cue, but would pick up a sleeping baby to nurse if the other one was eating. No sense in feeling like you have one baby that’s awake 24 hours a day! That pillow was a godsend.

Get This Book Now

2009-01-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

A quick shameless not-quite-self promotion for Kym Douglas' new book, The Black Book of Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets. Not only do Halle Berry, Milla Jovovich, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts, Brooke Shields and more share their tales from the 9-month journey, I interviewed with Kym as well. She's a smart, funny mom, the type who shares information about beauty finds and secrets (see her other books and her appearances on Ellen). I can't wait to see the book in print (it comes out in March), but you can pre-order it here.

Of course, you can find One Hot Mama's style tips and thoughts all over our site, but it's extra fun to see it in print! :)

The Best Pants in the World -- Pregnant or Not

2009-01-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

How do I explain to my husband that I've fallen in love? With not one, but two pairs of pants. Worse yet, they're technically maternity pants, and, after four kiddies, he doesn't want to see me knocked up ever again.

But these pants are The Best. First, my old love -- The Perfe ct Pre and Post Partum Pant. They're so fab, my mother bought two pairs! I wear them still, after a twin pregnancy over 3 1/2 years ago, and they look awesome. The picture on the left is missing something -- a fabric swatch so you can feel the yummy microfleece. It's cozy and good-looking, which, if you think about it, is what you want your mama to be. They definitely are not unitaskers -- you know, what Alton Brown calls kitchen tools that are made for a singular purpose. These babies can go to yoga and a fancy dinner with only a change of top. Really.

Now, I have a rival for those affections. The Everywear Pant is what I call the Skant -- a skirt/pant combination. Trust me, they were the next big thing in the 90s at some point, but never really took off. But I loved them, and kept looking in store windows and showrooms, hoping that someday, we'd be reunited. That day is here. Sure, they were made by a maternity designer, and the chickie on the right is all cute and preggers, but just wait until you see how great these fit your non-pregnant body! I am, right now, using this precious moment of "free" time at home to do the laundry so I can wear them again this week!

That is love.

What Does Feeding Every 2-3 Hours Mean?

2009-01-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

This one's for my beloved cousin, who, somehow, just had a baby of her own. I say somehow, because in my mind, she is forever eons younger than me, and if she's old enough to be a married woman with a baby, that means I'm about to be put out to pasture and start wearing the female equivalent of SansABelt slacks, the floral muumuu. (Shudder!)

Anyway, I remember reading, or hearing, or being told be a nurse after giving birth that my baby needed to eat every two or three hours. Guess what? If you're nursing, this information is misleading at best, and can lead to decreased milk production at worst. Here's the scoop: if you want the down-low on anything breastfeeding related, head to the LaLeche League or to Breastfeeding.com, and read between the lines when people tell you things like this. Why? Because the every 2 or 3 hours thing is based on formula-fed babies, whose intake can be measured, because the feeder gets to put in what they feel like giving. Nursing babies regulate their own intake, so at one session, they may be thirsty and take in lower-calorie foremilk, and then another, possibly shorter, session results in them gulping down buckets of high-calorie hindmilk that fills them up.

That's why nursing on cue and not the clock is best. A newborn who's rooting or making sucking faces should be put to the breast. Crying is not only a late indicator of hunger, it's harder to get a sobbing baby to latch on and calm down and eat. By the time he's crying, you've missed a lot of his little hints. And you've broken out in a cold sweat and feel like a failure.

The other piece of bad news/good news I have for you pregnant and newly nursing mamas is that, while a new baby should nurse around every two to three hours, that doesn't mean two hours should pass between the end of one feeding and the beginning of the next session. Look closely at the directions on your baby's tush (well, they should print them right there -- you're going to see it enough) -- there should be two hours between the beginning of one session and the start of the next. So if Junior takes an hour to fill his little belly, you're getting back up in an hour. (Why they don't use this info as birth control in high-school SexEd classes, I don't know.)

All is not lost, ladies. Here's the very good news: Once you've established breastfeeding (think, around 6 weeks), life will be easier for you than if you'd gone the bottle route. The trick is getting there without hurting yourself and those around you. Ditch the clocks. All of them. Especially the ones you can see in your bedroom at night. And learn to nurse laying down. No point in losing sleep with someone who's not even talking to you. :)

And here's a big congrats and shout-out to my cousin Shelley, husband Joseph, and new son Asher in NYC!!!

Bringing Home Baby -- Mack Truck Twins

2009-01-06T00:42:00.000-08:00

Oh, this is fun. The episode of TLC's Bringing Home Baby that I thought would be fun in a late-pregnancy-induced fit of madness is airing again Tuesday, January 6th. Actually, I am SO glad we did it -- I was right about one thing. The twins' baby books have never gotten filled out, and Lord only knows where all the pictures are. If you're visiting us because you're seeing the show for the first time, welcome! And if you're in LA, come say hello at our fab new store, at 12265 Ventura Boulevard on the second floor.

Ciao!

What Your Christmas Card Says About You As A Mother

2009-01-05T10:49:00.000-08:00

First, I know that the cardinal rule of blogging is never to say, "sorry I haven't blogged in a while" but rules are made to be broken. Also, apparently, are brand-spanking-new HP laptops. Yep, got one from my dh on my birthday, November 17th, and the day we returned from our post-Christmas vacation, kaput, dead, hard-drive failure with everything, and I mean, everything, that I have done or worked on in the past 6 weeks wiped out. Not so good.

Thankfully, Bob's a computer genius, and is now working on some sort of restoration, but it makes me sick to my stomach that I have no backup anywhere. Why, you may well ask? I don't know ... I'm an idiot. And an idiot without a computer, which in 2009, feels very weird indeed. So odd that I didn't even want to touch another computer. I mean, it was too fresh, the pain, and I still had hope of restoration. But this is taking too long, so back to work! :) On the limping-along, very old laptop that we were scared would die. But here it is. Interesting.

Back to the point of my post. It's going to make sense in a minute. Bob and I started sending cards out as a couple back in the last century. Before we were married, but after we had made the committment to get two dogs together. I think we dressed them up as Santa and a reindeer and made them pose for 100 photos (this was pre-digital, mind you, so it entailed multiple trips to 1-hour photo to see if we had gotten the shot). We amused ourselves thusly until we had Cameron, and then he and the dogs posed together for a couple years. When we had Lila in 2000, though, we realized that something was missing from the photo.

Us.

I mean, our dogs were cute and all, and so was our kidlet, but who really cared about them, other than grandparents and a couple of their many aunts? I looked around at all the cards I was taking down last night (hey, our tree's still up as well!) and noticed that well over 50% of them are photos of kids only. Some of the kids I know, but many are from friends I haven't seen in years, so I don't know the kids from Adam. Even Adam's actual kids -- how can I see who's nose is whose if I haven't seen him since the early 90s? I want to see you, my friends. Sure, include the kids (now that would be really odd, a Christmas card with only the parents on it!) -- but I think family photos sans the people who are responsible for the family says something not great.

It says that we have become invisible. That's something I fight against at One Hot Mama -- we want moms to say, "I'm here, too!" Life is not all baby sick and $900 strollers and how much sleep we got. We matter. And we should look good enough to be in a picture with the people that gave us grey hair. Toss on a little lipstick or fix it with Photoshop. As long as you're smiling and look like yourself, that's all that matters. I want you to remember that you're still a person, albeit one with spit-up on your shoulder. Hey, if bird poop on your shoulder is lucky in some cultures, think of what gallons of baby vomit can do for you!

So, even though Christmas and Hannukah and New Years are long gone, remember to keep yourself in the picture this year. Promise?

How Not To Clean Up Vomit

2008-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, what is it about Christmas and stomach bugs? Poor toddler Georgia had it Monday, I was striken Wednesday and Thursday, and apparently, today it's 8-year-old Lila's turn. Bless her heart, she managed to hit the hardwood floor and miss the large leather purse that was hanging on the bedpost, but what, in my 4am stupor, did I grab for cleanup? Clorox Disinfecting Wipes.

Not a bad choice, you say? Perhaps not -- if I had chosen a scent other than lemon!! Ack! Even the thought makes me queasy right now! But fear not -- I never present a problem without a solution. When both Bob and I were about to hurl in sympathy ourselves, I grabbed a jar of Vick's Vapour Rub and smeared it on our necks. Like smelling salts of old, we recovered!

In other news, the One Hot Mama store is open and it is fabulous! Please come visit and then spread the word on yelp, citypages, superpages, wherever you and your opinions roam! (Yes, for those of you with synapses firing on all cylinders, I left my sick pumpkin at home with my Fairy Godmother, aka my Mum).

Three more shopping days, but more importantly, that many wrapping days!

Thank Goodness for Grandmothers

2008-12-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

They're definitely not the grandmas of yesteryear -- my mother and mother-in-law are both stereotype-defying, very hot chicks -- but without them, I'd be toast. This is what people mean when they say "it takes a village" -- extended family is a big part of that community. Today is our first day with a store that needs to be open at the promised time, and I was going to bring the girls, aka the whirling dervishes, in with me. Hey, it's not like I have a choice! But my mom called and tactfully pointed out the futility of that plan, and is coming over to watch them play at home for a few hours!

Saving my butt again, just like when she flew in to take care of me when I was put on bedrest for SIX weeks (before the internet, people!) while pregnant with my son, and again after my daughter was born and I began hemorraging from over-activity postpartum.

Take a moment to thank your mom today -- you never know when she'll be there for you!

It's Like Giving Birth Again!

2008-12-12T00:16:00.000-08:00

Well, okay, only sort of. But the anticipation, the very hard work and the feeling of not knowing if you'll make it are all the same -- the new One Hot Mama store opens on Monday, December 15th!!

The new, sexy, adorable, comfortable store will be right down from the California Pizza Kitchen in the California Pavilion at Laurelgrove, and we can’t wait for you to visit. Shopping couldn’t be easier. Valet park in the garage on Laurelgrove, and we’ll validate your ticket. Take the elevator to the second floor, and check out the goodies that arrive almost daily. We have toys to entertain your little ones while you shop, and if you forget the wipes, we have them on hand! Afterwards, nosh at CPK or get massaged at The Massage Company or do what I do, which is to enjoy some Coldstone ice cream. We’re open weekdays from 10 (after preschool drop-off) to 7, Saturdays noon to 7, and Sundays noon to 5. If I’m not there to help you, my mom Christene will be. Our bestselling item right now is the amazing Belly Bandit postpartum belly wrap, and we have tons of fab outfits to make holiday travel and entertaining easier. Come check it out!

One Hot Mama
12265 Ventura Boulevard, #203
Studio City, CA 91604
818-980-9812
800-217-3750

And for online shopping, we’re still at http://www.onehotmama.com. Pictures soon!

The. Best. Idea. Ever.

2008-12-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

In the "why didn't I think of this?" category -- actually, probably did think of it, but was too sleep-deprived and whiny to do anything about it.

NuMamaSpa -- saw it on Daily Candy today, and just had to let you know. If you're in LA, book early and often, and if you're not, write the mommy-daddy creators behind the idea and tell them they're geniuses. (Maybe you can prevail on them to travel to you!)

The thought of a stress-free massage is enough to sustain me for the day. :)

Motherhood is a Marathon

2008-12-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

When people talk about "bouncing back" from having a baby (as I did, so many years ago, after having just one) I have to laugh. Out loud. I am, just now, in 2008, bouncing back. Or starting to. From the marathon that started with my first son's birth on July 15, 1997 (yes, in the last century!) and continues to this day.

No, I'm not whining about the gig (another day, another post, perhaps) but I want to remind anyone who's questioning their seeming lack of ambition or ability after becoming a mom (or becoming one again) that they aren't nuts. I remember my manager, Sara, telling me that she knew people who hadn't changed their life a bit after having children, and that she didn't like those people all that much. (At the time, she may have been commiserating with me over being dumped by my agent!)

My son is now 11, my daughter 8 and the surprise twin girls are 3 1/2 -- and only now am I back at work as an actress (for a laugh, check out my imdb page and play Spot The Pregnancy/Birth Hiatuses) and at our really fun site for moms from the first trimester to the fourth, One Hot Mama. We are opening a store (in this economy!) next week, and I literally did not have a spare moment of brain power, or, more importantly, psychic energy to devote to such a venture for the past four years. To be fair, I did have twins on the last go-around, but I reallly feel that people are more willing to cut you slack with multiples. And, more to point, I was more willing to do that for myself.

So whether you've just had a baby and are wondering what comes next, or you are on your fourth and the youngest starts kindergarten in the fall -- pace yourself. Stay the course. Whatever you're doing right now is just where you need to be. If you're truly miserable, change something up. But please, do not beat up on yourself for not doing anything. We're in this for the long haul, and there are no grades. You are the best mother for your child.

Have a great day, and a sleep-filled night!

What Not To Do In A Recession

2008-12-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

Open a store, that's what!! Yeah, but Bob and I are bound together by our total contrarian natures, so we've put all our eggs in the One Hot Mama basket and are working round the clock to have our One Hot Mama maternity and nursingwear store open by December 15th in Studio City, California! So if you're pregnant or nursing and need something to wear for the holidays, don't despair. We're going to be two doors down from California Pizza Kitchen on Ventura, and we can't wait to meet you. If you live in LA and want a gift certificate for use at the store as my thank you for reading this blog, please be sure to comment and include your email address so I can send it to you. Have a great day!

Quick Thoughts

2008-12-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

1. I am so grateful to have my amazing husband as my partner in life and business.

2. Today, One Hot Mama signed a lease and will officially open a real store in Studio City, California within the next two weeks (now you know why thought number 1 occurred to me!)

3. We're all real women. I just read a cool article about another female entrepreneur with a clothing line, a website and a store, and I went to her site so I could send her my regards, and was met by a banner saying something to the effect of, "clothing for real women" --in sizes 14 to 26. Now, I get that she's meeting a need, but do you need to slam other chicks to do it? Do we say, One Hot Mama, clothes for real women who've used their uteruses? Ugh. No. You can serve your community without claiming it's the only real way to be.

4. Cool sales around LA this weekend, including my friend Suzie's amazing sample sale of Burgundy Blue kids' clothing. A bit of a trek to downtown, but cool and should be worth it.

Sunday December 7th
noon until 6:00pm
Burgundy Blue: SAMPLE SALE*funky fashions for babies and toddlers
1250 Long Beach Ave STUDIO 309
LA,CA 90021
213.448.0503
**conveniently located one block from the 10 Freeway, at Alameda
also near the 5, 110, and 101 Freeways

Big Sale at One Hot Mama -- Black Friday Online

2008-11-28T09:21:00.000-08:00

So, we're in the midst of working on an actual One Hot Mama store (yippee for chicks looking for hip, hot, cool maternity and nursing clothes -- a bit scary for those of us who are going to work in it 80 hours a week!) and we've decided to participate in the big retail sale-a-thon by having a 25% off EVERYTHING sale at One Hot Mama. That's everything -- slings, Bravado nursing bras, Belly Bandits, Japanese Weekend and Olian tops and dresses, the Perfect Pre- and Postpartum pant and more.

Pretty cool stuff. Stay tuned for news of a store opening!

Win a Balboa Baby Sling!

2008-11-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm really full-time back at our business (after a long "vacation" to give birth to and raise twins to preschool age!) I really appreciate other business owners who are parents -- we are a hardy breed. When we're not breaking down, that is. :)

So I love The Mogul Mom -- lots of great insights for those of us with an extra demanding kid known as our own business. Check her out, and while you're there, you can post a comment and win a Balboa Baby Sling. Cool, no? Cool, yes.

And look for really cool news for SoCal hot mamas -- coming soon!

Thanksgiving Travel With A Breastfeeding Baby

2008-11-19T10:31:00.001-08:00

God bless all of you who are traveling with infants and small children for this holiday -- I am not in that group of brave souls. Don't get me wrong. I'll travel anywhere with my kids, and have. Even as the sole adult. But to do it when the rest of the free world is on the road just adds a bit too much stress for me to handle. Gotta know your limits!

That's not to say that you won't have a great time, but in case you're a little nervous about either the trip or the destination (at some point, your baby will need to eat in front of a roomful of relatives, here are some random thoughts:

Assume that some boob (pun intended) will have a bit too much wine and say something totally inappropriate about breasts and/or breastfeeding. Maybe that's just my family -- but in case it happens to you, a beatific smile is always handy. Feel free to think bad thoughts on the inside. The other option is to say that yes, you hope to wean soon, so that your breasts can go back the work nature intended, selling beer.
Nursing on a plane will save you from (most of) the screaming that babies seem conditioned to do in aircraft. Of course, since you're crammed in like sardines, you may be next to someone who doesn't appreciate your fine mothering skills. And, if you're in first class, be prepared to be next to Barbara Walters or someone else who thinks nursing makes them "uncomfortable."
Both of the above situations will be abated if you just remind yourself what a good mom you are. And that you have a right to be in the room (or, in the first case, the plane). If those fail, read about other people's reactions here and keep some funnies in mind from Breastfeeding.com here.
(By the way, if you have miles, use them for upgrades now before baby needs his own ticket!)
Use a sling, both for travel and for family gatherings. Keeps all those germy hands and curious eyes away. And yes, I apologize for all the mothers of older kids who look just like petri dishes to you and who want to touch the baby. Remind them that stroking the top of a baby's head gently feels just great. And if they touch his little hands, smack 'em! (Just kidding.)
Lastly, dress appropriately. Meaning, you don't need to disrobe to feed a crying infant. Here is a fabulous new shirt from Japanese Weekend, but we have lots more!

Have a great trip!

Finished With Your Sling? Pass It On!

2008-11-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

Here's something good you can do to celebrate World Babywearing Week (who knew?) -- donate a sling to the good folks over at the Peppermint Baby Boutique.

Send them to:

Peppermint Baby Boutique
Attn: Sling Drive
1778 N. Plano Rd., Suite 100
Richardson, TX 75081

I always feel odd putting my nursing clothes and slings in the Goodwill pile; I know that whoever discovers them and knows what they are will be psyched, but I worry that the volunteer sorters will be like, "what up with the clothes with holes in the boobie area?" I try to pass such goodies on to friends, but once you're kids are nearing junior high (my eldest son), the moms stop making so many babies. (Not me, apparently!) :)

Motrin and Babywearing -- I Need an Advil!

2008-11-17T15:44:00.000-08:00

Wow. Talk about misreading the market. Have you seen the latest (now pulled) Motrin ad that is pretty snarky about wearing one's baby? I know some people got deeply offended, but I just have to laugh at how stupid the copywriters (and the Motrin folks responsible for saying yes and writing the cheque) are.

First, they couldn't be more snippy about babywearing being fashionable. Yeah, those indigenous peoples who did it hundreds of years ago were all about The Next Big Thing.
Second, even if it is fashionable, the point is to actually bond better, make breastfeeding easier, and to to have your child be integrated into your life, rather than hauling them around in a plastic bucket (aka infant car seat).
Lastly, it's not supposed to hurt! Pain is an indication that you're doing it wrong. This applies to other areas as well (ahem).

Now, the ad was pretty funny, but it had oodles of misinformation. Using slings was such a blessing so that I could eat a freakin' sandwhich while taking care of a newborn. Even wore the twins at the same time, which is, in a weird way, easier because of the counter-balanced weight. I know that a simple adjustment by someone who knew what they were doing (pulled the ring back so it sat just in front of my shoulder bone) changed the experience of using a sling completely!

But my point (originally, anyway) is that you shouldn't let self-righteous people who think their parenting method (breastfeeding, Ferberizing, babywearing, spanking on demand, whatever) entitles them to be snotty dissuade you from trying out said method. Okay, except for the spanking on demand one. I made that up. Based on what my parents did (kidding mom!). I get that the ad made fun of the "I'm a better mother than you are" crowd, but you know what? A lot of what we imagine as other mothers looking down their noses at us is just our own personal insecurity. They are probably pretty well occupied with snot running down someone's nose, strange rashes on backsides and the constant surfeit of sleep.

So let's cut everyone a little slack, girls.

Happy birthday to me, today! :)